Handjob

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between a handjob and a blowjob?

Son no 4 has a project to do for school.  Now he told me about the project just over a week ago.  I have been a bad mommy lately as I have had too much on my plate.  Not that this should influence his project as I typically don’t help out with homework or projects, but I do like to keep my eye on them and make sure things get done.

I have been backing off a little now that he is about to go to high school as I also firmly believe that they need to be responsible enough to do their own homework and ask for help if required and where relevant.  

The brief for the project was as follows:

He had to make a toy that’s out of the ordinary, and has moving parts.

So this morning I ask him how is his planning going for the project and when does it need to be in by.

He proclaims it is finished!

Um – I haven’t been asked to go out and buy any supplies for it and I have not had any conversations with him about what he is going to make.   So now I am rather curious to know what he has made.

So he describes it to me – in essence it is a windmill!  But with a difference.

It is powered by hand.

His story was that if it was powered by wind, it would have been ordinary.  The fact that it is powered by hand, makes it out of the ordinary!

Can’t wait to actually see it!

Hope his teacher has a sense of humor …..

Lanthie Ransom

Call Me!

Woman can be weird.  And I am no different.  There are little things that make me laugh or giggle and my phone is one of them.

I now have an iPhone 5 – battery life seriously sucks on it so I have gotten into the habit of plugging it into a power source when driving.  All the little compartments in my car are full of various bits of crap like keys / coins / kids phones and other tidbits.

So I tend to plug it in an stick it between my legs while driving.

And then when my phone rings, well, you can just imagine the look on my face (oooh, I’m vibrating!)

So I had this idea – thought I would create an app that well, makes me smile on command if you know what I mean (wink wink).

Thought that if I was going to take this seriously, I would have to do some research and see what other apps are out there.  So I went onto the App store and searched for the term “Vibrator”.  I came across 131 of them.

I downloaded a few FREE ones (in the name of research) and thought I would tell you about them.

iVibe Massage Lite

Tap screen once to start the vibrations.  Makes a hell of a noise.  Yeah, wasn’t too impressed with it.  You can upgrade to the full version for a fee, maybe that comes with more control.

iBrate

Oh yeah!  Liked this one…..Touch with 1, 2 or 3 fingers to start the vibrations.  The effect was great – will be trying this one a few more times.

Hot Massage

Ok – I paid for this one – looked too good to miss.  This one didn’t do anything different to what any of the free versions did – it vibrated, that was it!

iTingle

Paid for this one too.  It has a slider that you can move up or down to vary the vibrations – nice feature.  Very simple and easy to use.

BuzzTXT

This one looked interesting – Says you can send “buzzes” to your friends phones.  Tap buzz to make your friends phone buzz.  Looked like a nice feature so I downloaded it.   Couldn’t figure out how to use it and gave up after 20 seconds.

Others that looked interesting:

3D Color Viibrate Stick

Think you need to buy the “appliance” and download the app to make it work – May add this to my Christmas list!

Mybrator

This one also has an “appliance” that you buy and control with your phone.  mmmm – Must look out for it to try!

Can’t say any of them are “mind blowing” and left me little disappointed and despondent.  Not sure I will be writing that app after all.  None of them really did anything more than receiving a call will do – so CALL ME!

Lanthie Ransom

Tastes Just Like Chicken

For those of you who are regulars on my blog, you will know that my 16 year old son wants a tattoo.  I was not quite in agreement with it but Daddy said he could have one.

So I have been delaying the inevitable – hoping that he would change his mind.  He brings it up at least once a week that we owe him a tattoo, so no hope there.

I decided a few days ago that I wanted a belly ring – it would look cool when I belly dance.  So of course I finally gave in and agreed that he could now have a tattoo and could have it done when I have my belly pierced.

We went out fairly early this morning for breakfast and a little shopping and also to visit the tattoo parlor.  Son no 3 has chosen the design of the tattoo he wants and I want to nip to the Harley shop to see if they have any belly rings for me.

At breakfast, Son no 3 suddenly blurts out that he doesn’t want a tattoo anymore.  Huh!  Is this the same kid…..    I quietly do a little happy dance in my head but don’t say anything.  No reason – he has apparently just change his mind.

We then head off to the Harley shop – they didn’t have any belly rings so I would have to go with whatever they had at the parlor.

On the way to the parlor, we start taking the piss out of my son for chickening out.  We suggest he gets a tattoo on his bum cheek.  He laughs.

I laugh and say it should say BITE ME.  He then comments that he is a little tender back there.

Hubby then suggests it should say BITE ME and under it should say I’m Tender!

Son no 4 then blurts out and says it should say “Tastes like chicken!”

Anyway, we eventually arrive at the tattoo parlor.  My stomach is now churning.  I am having second thoughts.  I take a deep gulp and go inside and there are 2 Russian women (not the butch sort – quite attractive actually!) – one at the counter and the other tattooing a man with huge biceps.  I notice the sign stuck on the wall – okay, now is the time to run!

I go up to the counter and ask about having my belly pierced.  She very nicely asks if I wouldn’t mind coming back in half an hour while she finishes off Mr Muscle.  So we go find a place to have a cup of tea.

We sit down and order the tea.  Now my stomach is in knots.  I need to find a bathroom!  I excuse myself.  I sit in the stall, quietly contemplating whether or not I should chicken out too.  I then decide that I can’t – I would never live it down with my sons.  I would have to go through with it.  I mean how bad can it be.  If teenage girls can do it, so can I!

So I sit back down and have 2 cups of tea.  Okay….. the moment has arrived!

We head back to the parlor.   Gulp!  I read the sign again.

The 2 Russians invite me in to sit down in the corner.  I anxiously ask if it will hurt.  They explain to me that it is so quick and it is like an injection.  I can do injections – I’m  not fond of them but I have no issues with needles in general.

So I sit down.  The one woman all of a sudden has a huge instrument in her hand – suppose it’s like a pair of forceps!

She then marks my belly button and puts the forceps over the marks.  Um….  that is uncomfortable!  She squeezes them tightly.  She then says I may now want to close my eyes as she is getting the needle out.  Okay, yeah, I may just want to not watch this part.  Final chance to chicken out!

I look away and think happy thoughts….

And 20 seconds later she says it’s done.  Oh, I say.  Not too bad at all.  There was no pain.

She then says it is not over.  She now has to put the jewelry in and that is uncomfortable.  OMW – when will it end!  So now I feel some tugging.  Yep – a little uncomfortable is the term!

2 Minutes later and it is all done.

So I am now the proud owner of a belly ring!  (Mine doesn’t look like this pic – slightly more swollen and well, you can clearly tell I have had 4 kids).

I have no pain.  I feel a little uncomfortable and guarding my stomach a little.  Definitely won’t be sucking my stomach in for a few days!.  But I did it.

So all I can say to son no 3 – CHICKEN!

I’m a Sucker for Bad Boys

I’m starting to get really excited and cant wait for next week.  It is the start of the 6th season of Sons of Anarchy – my favorite TV Series.

Sons of Ararchy

We usually download it and watch it within hours of it being shown in the US.

I mean what is there not to like – blood / guts / gore/ sex / drugs / more sex / more drugs / more blood.  And let’s not forget – loads of guys on motorbikes!!!!  And loads of guys in leather!!!!

For those of you who are not familiar with the series – it is about the lives of a close-knit outlaw motorcycle club.  The show centers around Jax Teller (Played by Charlie Hunnam).  He has to be the sexiest guy alive at the moment.

Charlie Hunnam has become very popular and recently starred in Pacific Rim.   I think we will be seeing more and more of him in coming months.