I am so glad the week is over. It started with hubby in hospital recouping after his op. I had a list of things I wanted to get done while he was in hospital – you know those little things that you never get the time to do. Things like doing the filing, a little household maintenance, tidying up and putting things away that have been laying in a pile for weeks waiting to be put back into their rightful place.
But I slumped… I just was not in the mood. The filing sat on the side table in a pile – nagging at me. I lost all interest in everything – including my blog.
Hubby duly came back home on Tuesday and my mood just got worse. It is difficult to explain. I am not depressed, I am not happy, I am not sad, I am not angry, I am not particularly anything. The best way to describe my mood is that I feel like a ticking time bomb – ready to explode – for no particular reason. And I am trying desperately to hold on to my sanity and reasoning.
And the guilt just gets worse. I feel guilty for feeling like this. I feel guilty that I want to kick the dog. I feel guilty that I want to punch hubby in the face. I feel guilty about being in a shitty mood – but I just cannot snap out of it. I sent a couple of snarly emails yesterday to our local neighbourhood action group bitching about the refuse not being collected – and it felt so good. To just let some steam off.
And then I read my friends latest post on her blog today “Menopausal Mean” and it explained it all. I still feel like I want to explode but at least I know why.
Perhaps I should invest in a punching bag!