Ticking Time Bomb

I am so glad the week is over.  It started with hubby in hospital recouping after his op.  I had a list of things I wanted to get done while he was in hospital – you know those little things that you never get the time to do.  Things like doing the filing, a little household maintenance, tidying up and putting things away that have been laying in a pile for weeks waiting to be put back into their rightful place.
 
But I slumped…  I just was not in the mood.  The filing sat on the side table in a pile – nagging at me.  I lost all interest in everything – including my blog.
 
Hubby duly came back home on Tuesday and my mood just got worse.  It is difficult to explain.  I am not depressed, I am  not happy, I am not sad, I am not angry, I am not particularly anything.  The best way to describe my mood is that I feel like a ticking time bomb – ready to explode – for no particular reason.  And I am trying desperately to hold on to my sanity and reasoning.
 
And the guilt just gets worse.  I feel guilty for feeling like this.  I feel guilty that I want to kick the dog.  I feel guilty that I want to punch hubby in the face.  I feel guilty about being in a shitty mood – but I just cannot snap out of it.  I sent a couple of snarly emails yesterday to our local neighbourhood action group bitching about the refuse not being collected  – and it felt so good.  To just let some steam off. 

And then I read my friends latest post on her blog today “Menopausal Mean” and it explained it all.  I still feel like I want to explode but at least I know why. 

Perhaps I should invest in a punching bag!
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4 thoughts on “Ticking Time Bomb

  1. You get it, right? As women we just can't help it–hormones take over and there is this terrible rage toward everyone and everything! Sometimes I think it is better to feel that as opposed to feeling nothing at all. I've had those moods too and they are hard to get out of. You just feel dull and listless. Last week was a particularly bad week for me emotionally and i had no clue why i felt so lousy…then suddenly my PERIOD came (it has been 15 months since the last one!) and that explained it all. I swear, the next day I felt fine! I'm telling you, it all has to do with hormones!!Hang in there and ride out the storm—it WILL get better. Kind of a weird coincidence that my latest blog came to you when it did, huh?

  2. So glad you blog came when it did – it made me feel so much better. I just feel so emotionally and physically tired. I feel like I just need to get away on my own ( fat chance of that happening). Thanks for your words of support. I will message you later as well.

  3. Hello there Bodacious, you are right, guess you need a vacation on a beach. Take time to breathe, and live… and enjoy..Relax..Things will get better.. Life goes on..

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