How to Pick Up Chicks

My one son is 15 years old.  Just like any other male teenager, he thinks he is Gods gift to the female species.  He is tall and handsome.  He has these long lanky legs, soft longish blond hair and the start of some awesome muscles.  He is really good looking and he knows it.

Handsome Man

For example – we have a big round mirror in our lounge and every time he walks in, he gets this huge grin on his face when he notices himself.  He then does this little flick of his long blond fringe and flexes his muscles and makes some or other comment about how good looking he is, or rubs his abdomen and tells us to look at his six pack or utters a corny pick up line or two.

It is quite entertaining to watch and it usually has me in stitches when he walks though the room.

So I thought I would start writing down some of his corny pick up lines and eventually I asked him to write some of them down and I would blog about them.  So here goes – “How to pick up Chicks” according to my 15 year old!

  • Damn, if being sexy was a crime, I’d be guilty as charged!
  • Smoking is hazardous to your health… and baby you’re killing me!
  • You shouldn’t wear makeup, its messing with perfection
  • Do you have a band-aid?… cause I scraped my knee falling for you
  • You look cold, do you want to use me as a blanket?
  • Sorry, but you owe me a drink. ….Because I dropped mine when I looked at you
  • I’m not drunk, I’m intoxicated by you!
  • Not even Snape could sever us apart
  • Hey girl! Are you made if copper and tellurium?… because you are CuTe!
  • You must be the square root of 2 because I feel irrational around you
  • Hey girl, feel my sweater. Know what its made of?… Boy friends material.
  • How about we find a dark room and see what develops?…
  • I wish I were DNA helicase so I could unzip you genes
  • Whenever I’m around you I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away!
  • Good thing I bought my library card… because I AM CHECKING YOU OUT!!
  • Kiss me if I’m wrong but dinosaurs still exist right?…
  • Theres something wrong with my phone… it doesn’t has your number
  • Excuse me… I seem to have dropped something (what?) my jaw.
  • You with all those curves! and me with no brakes!
  • I lost my phone number… can I have yours?…
  • You see my friend over there?… he wants to know if you think I’m cute
  • I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away
  • You know what would look good on you?… Me!
  • Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?…
  • If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?…
  • If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put U and I together…
  • Is it hot in here or is it just you.
  • Do you have a wrench?… because every time I look into your eyes my nuts tighten 
  • Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
  • Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he’s missing an angel!
  • Can I get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?
  • Hey, I lost my phone number … Can I have yours?
  • Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
  • Do you work for NASA? Because you’re out of this world
  • Hi, I have big feet
  • I hope there’s a fireman around, cause you’re smokin’!
  • Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
  • You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line
  • I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight
  • Why don’t you sit on my lap and tell me the first thing that pops up?
  • If you were homework, I’d be doing you right here on my desk!
  • I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me tonight?
Have you got any you want to ad?

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16 thoughts on “How to Pick Up Chicks

  1. My 14 year old son tought me the best pick-up line ever years ago…too late for me but he had great success with it,"Hi, my name is Matt, what's yours?"

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