All that glitters

I took up Belly Dancing earlier this year – another one of my personal challenges.  We are now starting to get ready for our first showcase in early August.  Rehearsals are well on their way already and we were told to start thinking about what costumes to wear.

Usually the costumes are coordinated on a group basis, but the “beginners” are allowed to wear a costume of their choosing.  Our instructor has asked us to not spend a lot of money on our costume as it is a once off that we will be wearing it.

So I have spent the weekend at the local China mall here and managed to find bits and pieces that will do just fine as my costume (I hope).

I must admit it is a little bit of challenge imaging that I will have to wear this in public – and on a stage. I thought I would give you a glimpse of it.  Will show the finished product off when it’s show time.

Wear Leather’s!

It is my birthday this coming week – I’m turning 38 (again!).  I’m not usually big on birthdays and don’t usually make a big deal out of my own – another year older is not something I like celebrating nowadays.

One of the things you would know about me if you knew me personally is that I HATE being in the limelight.  Now don’t get me wrong – I LOVE my blog being in the limelight but personally, I am a behind the scenes person.  So big parties and especially surprise parties are not ideal for me – especially when I am the main feature.

In case you hadn’t noticed – I have a slightly warped sense of humor.  I love joking about my own sexuality and always have some form of tongue in cheek comment about sex or anything with a sexual connotation.  The funny thing is, my brother and I were brought up very conservatively, and he shares my sense of humor and we have very weird conversations when we are together.

Anyway….. my brother calls me about 2 weeks ago and invites me to “dinner” on my birthday and won’t take no for an answer.  Now this in itself is strange as he usually takes me out for lunch.  We never go for dinner.

So I tell hubby later that night that my brother wants to take me for dinner for my birthday.  It is a week day and I can’t see why hubby would have an issue with it – he is usually in bed asleep by 7 and we wouldn’t have done anything special for my birthday anyway – maybe an early dinner or something but hubby hates going out for dinner.  However, hubby goes off on a tangent and is pissed that I am going with my brother and what about him and his plans for me.

So I drop the subject – It will resolve itself whatever and well, dinner or not is no big deal and quite honestly I have better things to worry about.

My brother then mentions to me a few days later that I have to “wear Leathers”.  Now I am worried.

 It is a little strange to be told to wear leathers for dinner.  So I know something is up.  I’m not sure what type of leathers either – are we talking leather trousers / leather skirt / leather jacket / jeans and leather jacket / chaps or perhaps the “collars and mask’s” type!  (you never know with my brother)

I have the leather boots and jacket but anything more may need to be a shopping expedition!

My husband then comes home the other night and tells me that he has spoken to my brother and he has given me permission to go out with him (Yeah – my thoughts exactly – I’m like 2 years old all of a sudden and need permission!).

So I start asking questions about where we are going.  My brother eventually tells me that we are going to a place called “Beefcakes“.  I was curious so looked it up and of course the half naked guy in the logo catches my eye.  I send my brother a message asking if he can arrange a lap dance.  He thought I was very funny!

Beefcakes is a burger bar – but with a twist.  They have themed evenings – with drag shows and boys only nights and girl only nights.  Pop on over to the site to have a look.

So I am dying of curiosity to find out what he has planned.  I strongly doubt we are actually going to Beefcakes, but who knows.  As long as there are half naked men involved, I’ll forgive him for putting me in the spotlight!

My Mr Bean Moment

I may have mentioned in passing over the last few weeks that Son no 3 does Drama at school.  He is currently in Grade 10.  They have recently had to perform in 1 act plays for their exams and his play, Sidetracked was elected to go through to FEDA – The Festival of Excellence in Dramatic Arts.  This is where a number of schools all partake and the best plays from each school are selected to perform in the festival.

Anyway, my sons play went through to the semi-finals and I had the honor of attending the show last night.   The show took place at the JOBURG theatre in the middle of Johannesburg.  Getting there during peak hour traffic was a little bit of a challenge but I managed to get there in time by leaving home really early.
I dragged my daughter in law and son no 4 with for company.  The show started at 6pm and as it was a school night, I assumed we would be out by 8 or 8.30pm at the latest.
By 8pm, we were not even half way through. There were 6 plays last night,  my son was in the first.  I don’t know if you all have the same thoughts but as a parent, you really want to go along to all the school functions and see your kid performing, but you really don’t want to sit through the rest.   I was tempted to leave straight after his performance but we had to wait until the end to find out if his play was going through to the finals.
So there we sat until 11.30 last night. Five and a half FRIGGING hours!  Really!  I just wanted to scream……..  Not to mention that my bum felt like a brick after the third hour.

There was a brief intermission.  Got up to stretch my legs and go to the loo.  My daughter-in-law went with me and I ended up having a bit of a Mr Bean moment!  After I had my little tinkle, I went to the basin to wash my hands.  I opened the tap, not realizing the water pressure would be so good.  So WHOOSH!   I wet the front of my blouse and skirt.  This had us both in stitches.

Now I don’t want to pretend I had an awful time and I sat through 6 boring amateur performances.  The performances were BRILLIANT – every single one of them.  There was nothing amateurish about them and you would never have said these were performed by school children who are not even in a main line drama education facility.  They take drama as a subject, one of many.

If it wasn’t for the fact the the evening was Faaaar tooooo loooong, it would have been an thoroughly enjoyable evening.  I managed to take some pics – nothing too spectacular as all I had with me was my iPhone. (My son is the one holding the girl and the one sitting in the front right on the chairs)

Red Mini Skirts and Black Suspenders

I have been eyeing out a red mini skirt at our local clothing store for about 6 months.  Every time I go shopping, I threaten my sons that I am going to buy it, but never seem to work up the courage.  I am a typical jeans and blouse / t-shirt kinda girl.  I wear the odd sundress in summer but I am most comfortable in my jeans.  I don’t get to go anywhere fancy so never really get to doll myself up.

So last week I decided to buy the red mini skirt – for no other reason than to wind my sons up.  I also found a new pair of boots – finally admitted the last pair were a little too high and was never going to survive in them.  The new pair are just above ankle length with the right size and height heel and are lace ups – Perfect in every way.  (Cost a fortune but I wont tell hubby if you don’t)  So I have the new boots and a red mini – what else do I wear them with?  Found a very nice black shirt (with press stud buttons) and some black stockings to complete the package.

Tried it all on the other day and was very pleased with the look – the mini was not nearly as short as I thought and in fact came to about 2 inches above the knee – so not sure it can be described as a mini skirt anyway.

Decided to wear my new outfit this week, much to my sons disgust.  Had endless remarks from them all day.  Sitting in the car was the worst – son no 3 kept complaining that he could see my thighs and it is the last thing any kid wants to see (I have obviously brought up a bunch of prudes!).

I felt really good all day and decide to be a little more daring in future.

I am now on the look out for a black leather mini skirt.  I could so make it work.  Do you think that black stockings and suspenders may be pushing it a bit?

Blow Job of the Century

I has been a momentus week for me – I have reached 100,000 views on my blog and in less than 2 years!  A few months ago I would have been ecstatic to reach 50,000 on my second anniversary.  And then about 2 months ago I upped my expectations to 75,000.  So I have exceeded my expections by far and I have you all to thank. 

So THANK YOU to all of you who do me the honour of reading and following my blog.


Now what does this have to do with Blow Jobs you may ask.  Well there is a story.  In fact I have written this story a few times and always end up deleting it as I just cannot get up the courage to press the PUBLISH button.  You see I can write about blow jobs, orgasms, sex, penis sizes etc in general.  But when it comes to the nitty gritty of the real personal side, I go all shy. 

I made 2 promises to Hubby – the second promise was to tell this story publically if I reached 100,000 views in less than 2 years and the first promise is as follows.  (I suggest that anyone who knows me personally go and read someone elses blog or go and make a cup of tea.  I would hate to try and look you in the eye after this.  And a note to my sons – you do not want to read on and it will give you nightmares!)

Hubby has had a weight issue for many many years – in fact most of our married life.  It started off with IBS and then he had complications of diverticular disease and ended up having a huge chunk of his large colon removed about 10 years ago and his weight just seemed to increase as the years went by.  I made a promise to him about 12 years ago that if he ever lost weight and got down to 100kg’s, I would give him a “blow job“. I was hoping it would be motivation enough for him to make the effort to lose the weight.  In our 25 years of marriage, I have never been able to give hubby a BJ – yeah I know, I am a cruel wife!

Last year in May, hubby had a gastric bypass.  Since then he has lost over 60kg’s.  He reached the 100kg mark about 2 months ago.  And hubby was of course quick to politey remind me of my promise.  At first I felt obliged to fulful my promise.  But then when push came to shove, I chickened out.  You see I just cannot do it.

Hubby makes a habit of reminding me of my promise regularly.  And I swallow hard (excuse the pun) and toy with the idea…….. and then chicken out.  I just cannot do it!

So it looks like dear hubby will have to do without the pleasure.  Unless of course he decides to trade me in for a newer model!

Don’t Hate The Bieber!

So I am really splashing out and seeing another show tonight.  I am sitting back in the Stadium Management Suite at FNB Stadium to see Justin Bieber.  Please don’t hate me for it.  I have had so many fellow bloggers and friends telling me I’m crazy and how can I tolerate him.  He is nothing but a spoilt brat.  But quite honestly I know so little about this young man and he is in the media so much, I thought I would come see for myself what all the hype is about.  I have a totally open mind.

I left home early afternoon, only to hit an accident on the Freeway.  Was stuck in the back-log for almost 2 hours.  Most of the traffic were all Bieber fans on their way to the show.  Everyone with a sunroof had it open with young girls hanging out.  Car windows all open and again young girls hanging out.  Some with Bieber masks.  Some with Bieber written in their foreheads.  Some with hearts inked on their cheeks and arms.  Some with Bieber caps and other regalia on.  The vibe in the traffic was amazing.  People walking and chatting to others.  Times like this it is great to be part of the crowd.
Finally got past the accident scene and was at the stadium in no time.  There was no backlog of traffic like there was yesterday.  However parking areas were full – apparently some people had been queuing since 4am.  Now I am once again parked in the stadium basement but to get there is a mission.  Not helped by the police and security not knowing how to direct me (Even though I know where I need to go).
Eventually found myself back in the suite eating pizza.  I would come to see any show here just for the pizza.  They have opened the room up next to the suite  as well – loads if teenyboppers here with their parents.
6pm arrived – opening act is Locnville.  They are hugely popular here and known for their song Sun In My Pocket – one of my favourites.


Once their act finished, the great debate started – how late was Bieber going to be.  I found myself standing next to the Promoter and he explained that there was a countdown clock which is displayed on the screens 10 minutes before he appears.  It was estimated that he was going to be at least half an hour late though. And within 30 seconds of saying that, the countdown clock started. We all thought someone had made a mistake and after much walky-talking, it was confirmed that he was indeed going to be on time and the countdown clock was correct.  Apparently the first time in ages that The Bieber was on time!  He came on stage at 7pm exactly.
Everytime the clock counted down a minute, the crowd went nuts.  As it hit zero, the stadium shook from all the screaming.  I tried to film (below) it but not sure I can do it justice.
I have a compilation CD in my car which I listen to everyday and one of the songs is called Beauty and the Beat.  It is actually one of my favourite songs at the moment.  Little did I know it was one of Justin Biebers songs.  Perhaps I should be paying more attention to the actual artists in future.
His final encore song was of course Baby Baby.  And the reaction from the crown was just indescribable.  Thought the building was going to crumble underneath me from all the noise.  The show ended early – 8.30pm in fact.  Show was planned to finish early as it was a school night.
I had a thoroughly enjoyable evening actually.  I thought Bieber was spectacular on stage.  He is in every way an amazing showman.  He has a fanbase and they love him.  And he deserves the respect from everyone else – regardless of whether you like him or not.

I took some pics which I thought I’d share.



Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s day to all the MOMMIES out there.  I feel a little under the weather this morning after getting home in the early hours after the Bon Jovi concert.  Kids still asleep and Hubby is already at the stadium for the Justin Bieber show tonight.

Apparently the kids are taking me out for breakfast – more like lunch at this rate.  Got cards from the kids – had a laugh at Son no 3’s comments:

Stepping out with Bon Jovi

Bon Jovi Because We Can

I thought I’d get out of my comfort zone again today.  I’ve decided to go to our very own FNB stadium (the largest stadium in South Africa) and see Bon Jovi in concert.  I’m generally not wild about large crowds or concerts.  FNB Stadium is our flagship stadium holding about 95,000 people and was the main stadium for the Fifa 2010 World Cup.  Hubby is part of the Executive Stadium Management so Moi got special suite tickets and parking in the basement.

FNB Stadium

We left home early to avoid the traffic. Got to about 10km away from the stadium and hit traffic – it was all bumper to bumper.  So we pulled out and went to another off ramp past the stadium and got off there which was much easier.  Debating the parking was an epic on its own.  It’s fine and well having basement parking but you need to get there first.  Anyway, we eventually made our way to the parking and got a bay right outside the door to the lift (perfect!)

Hubby met us and escorted us up to the suite.  We were the first ones there.  Decided to get a glass of red wine much to Hubby and Son no 1 ‘s disgust – apparently I am driving later.  I politely told them I am driving in about 6 hours time so they must keep their pants on.

Stadium Suite

I took loads of pics and was inundated with people coming up to me to say hello.  I don’t come to the stadium often and being one the the bosses wives, I was THE person to be nice too. The waiters kept bringing food to the table.  A plate of pizza was first up – yummy!  
Finally 6.30pm arrived and the opening act arrived in stage – Daniel Baron.  A fairly new artist in South Africa.  This was the biggest audience he had ever played to.

Second act was Elvis Blue who is one of my favourite South African artists.  Absolutely love his music.

Eventually 8.30pm arrived and Bon Jovi appeared on stage.  The crowd went absolutely wild.  It is definitely a show for a more mature audience and I was surprised by the welcome they gave him and the continuous interaction from them.

Bon Jovi South Africa
Bon Jovi on stage

Bon Jovi South Africa
The show was sold out.  An amazing crowd.
And some more general pics below:
Bon Jovi South Africa

Bon Jovi South Africa

Bon Jovi South Africa

I had a great evening.  The show finished at around midnight and I got home at about 1.30am.  The traffic getting out of the stadium was an absolute nightmare.

I’m doing this all over again tomorrow night.  I am going to see what all the fuss is about and going to see Justin Bieber.  (I am going with an open mind.)

The Art Of Self Pleasure

I have been married for a lifetime.  I am not that old though, having been married at 21.  But as most (nearly) middle aged women would agree with, after a certain stage, sex is not quite the same with your dearest beloved.  It is not that you love them any less, it is just a different type of love I suppose.  It is a life long love that endures all evils.  A comfort zone.  A best friend zone.

There are all sorts of challenges one has to deal with.  Managing my own business and bringing up 4 boys has been a full time job on its own for me and I can tell you that there is nothing sexy about any of this.  It leaves me tired and not even a little interested in the bedroom department.  Menopause of course also leaves one even less interested.

Dearest hubby of course is still a typical male – he wants and could have sex 50 times a day – with 10 minute intervals between each session if you know what I mean.  And I hate to admit that I spend a lot of time coming up with excuses as to why I’m not in the mood.

The Art of Self PleasureI needed to go shopping the other morning for groceries and I needed some new underwear.  My lacy nothings are really starting to look like bedraggled nothings.  So hubby decided to tag along.  Now I knew this was a mistake.  I ended up buying all sorts of lacy nothings that I would never wear – mostly due to the fact that I would be more covered wearing a string of pearls.  But anyway, I humored dearest and at least I will have a selection of lacy nothings in the draw so that if ever I pass into the next life, would embarrass the hell out of my sons when emptying out my drawers.  (Message to sons – I told you guys I’d get my own back one day…)

Hubby of course is now in a suggestive mood when we get home and is trying to convince me to go to the bedroom for a little hanky panky.  I’m of course not in the mood.  So I jokingly said “hasn’t he learnt the art of self pleasure yet”.  He thought this was funny.  He replied “can I show him how”.

So it got me thinking.  I think so many marriages would be much happier after a certain number of years if both sexes agreed that self pleasure (and i don’t mean the sort where you are being watched) was OPENLY on the table and perhaps allowing a little hanky panky on the side to relieve some of the sexual burden on each other.   Don’t think of it as cheating but as a supplement to a otherwise perfect marriage.

I am sure many of us do the self pleasure thing on occassion and would die of embarrasement if our partners found out, but I really think it is something that should be made part of your daily routine and we should not feel embarrased about it.

A fellow blogger posted a poem the other day which I thought was perfect for this post so I asked her if she would mind if I used it. So with thanks to Kitt Crescendo from The Inner Wildkat…..


Soft touch
 glide on scented
 The reverent kiss
 of finger tips
 of breast
 and hip.
 Warm response,
 arched back,
 hardened buds,
 heated suction
 or cruel bite…
 Hand delves down,
 center of my universe…
 Wet welcome
 permeates the air.
 Hips raise,
 meet seeking touch…
 Beg to be filled.
 Quick thrust,
 strong and sure.
 and again.
 Light sheen glistens
 Body uncontrolled.
 Friction heats
 tiny bud
 Red lips
 raised in supplication.
 “Oh, God!”

Messages on a Board – 16th Birthday Gift List

Son no 3 turns 16 on Thursday this week.  He has been looking forward to this day for so long and it has been all he can talk about for weeks.  He is now at the “legal” age to be allowed to have sex apparently (he is under the impression that the female species are all going to start throwing themselves at him now that he is 16 / legal!

So today I found another message on my board in the kitchen:

16th Birthday List

Item no 1:

The list of music he wants is as follows (I must be getting old as I don’t recognise anything – suppose I can splash out on some iTunes Vouchers:
Pierce the veil (albums)
-collide with the sky
-selfish machine
– a flair for the dramatic
– a celebration of an ending
for all those sleeping (albums)
– cross your fingers
– the lies we live
of mice and men (albums)
– of micr and men
– the flood
sleeping with sirens (albums)
– with ears to see and eyes to hear
– lets cheer to this
black veil brides (albums)
– wretched and divine : the story of the wild ones
– we stitch these wounds
tonight alive (albums)
– what are you so scared of?
– all shapes and disguises
breath caroline (albums)
– hello fascination
– hello is that you…
– its classy, not classic
– savages
mayday parade (albums)
– a lesson in romantics
– anywhere but here
– mayday parade
the word alive (albums)
– deceiver
woe is me (albums)
– bracket
– genesi[s]

Item No 2:

Box of Condoms – This one goes without saying and it is the first thing I have given all my sons when they have turned 16. May be a controversial issue but I would rather they had them and used them than have their lives messed up by unwanted STD’s or pregnancies.  It is not to say I condone or encourage the use thereof….  (PS – Son no 1 and 2 were both finished all their schooling and in serious relationships the first time they used them)

Item No 3:

Tattoo – Still under much debate in our house.  Hubby has agreed to it and it looks like a done deal.   I have emphasized over and over again the consequences thereof and all I can do is remember to say “I told you so” in years to come.
So I hope all his dreams come true and wish him a very happy birthday week!  (Love you my son!)