The Art Of Self Pleasure

I have been married for a lifetime.  I am not that old though, having been married at 21.  But as most (nearly) middle aged women would agree with, after a certain stage, sex is not quite the same with your dearest beloved.  It is not that you love them any less, it is just a different type of love I suppose.  It is a life long love that endures all evils.  A comfort zone.  A best friend zone.

There are all sorts of challenges one has to deal with.  Managing my own business and bringing up 4 boys has been a full time job on its own for me and I can tell you that there is nothing sexy about any of this.  It leaves me tired and not even a little interested in the bedroom department.  Menopause of course also leaves one even less interested.

Dearest hubby of course is still a typical male – he wants and could have sex 50 times a day – with 10 minute intervals between each session if you know what I mean.  And I hate to admit that I spend a lot of time coming up with excuses as to why I’m not in the mood.

The Art of Self PleasureI needed to go shopping the other morning for groceries and I needed some new underwear.  My lacy nothings are really starting to look like bedraggled nothings.  So hubby decided to tag along.  Now I knew this was a mistake.  I ended up buying all sorts of lacy nothings that I would never wear – mostly due to the fact that I would be more covered wearing a string of pearls.  But anyway, I humored dearest and at least I will have a selection of lacy nothings in the draw so that if ever I pass into the next life, would embarrass the hell out of my sons when emptying out my drawers.  (Message to sons – I told you guys I’d get my own back one day…)

Hubby of course is now in a suggestive mood when we get home and is trying to convince me to go to the bedroom for a little hanky panky.  I’m of course not in the mood.  So I jokingly said “hasn’t he learnt the art of self pleasure yet”.  He thought this was funny.  He replied “can I show him how”.

So it got me thinking.  I think so many marriages would be much happier after a certain number of years if both sexes agreed that self pleasure (and i don’t mean the sort where you are being watched) was OPENLY on the table and perhaps allowing a little hanky panky on the side to relieve some of the sexual burden on each other.   Don’t think of it as cheating but as a supplement to a otherwise perfect marriage.

I am sure many of us do the self pleasure thing on occassion and would die of embarrasement if our partners found out, but I really think it is something that should be made part of your daily routine and we should not feel embarrased about it.

A fellow blogger posted a poem the other day which I thought was perfect for this post so I asked her if she would mind if I used it. So with thanks to Kitt Crescendo from The Inner Wildkat…..


Soft touch
 glide on scented
 The reverent kiss
 of finger tips
 of breast
 and hip.
 Warm response,
 arched back,
 hardened buds,
 heated suction
 or cruel bite…
 Hand delves down,
 center of my universe…
 Wet welcome
 permeates the air.
 Hips raise,
 meet seeking touch…
 Beg to be filled.
 Quick thrust,
 strong and sure.
 and again.
 Light sheen glistens
 Body uncontrolled.
 Friction heats
 tiny bud
 Red lips
 raised in supplication.
 “Oh, God!”


14 thoughts on “The Art Of Self Pleasure

  1. I'm so honored that you asked to include my "Self Discovery" poem. Keeping the spice alive in marriage takes actual work, doesn't it? I hope more people are encouraged to dialogue with their significant other about self pleasure. It can be a huge enhancement to a relationship. (Not to mention very hot to watch)

  2. I found out about your blog through Phil, the regular guy, and I have to say…LOVE IT! 🙂 I'm hopping all over catching up on posts. Had to comment on this one because the poem is so freakin' awesome….and ballsy (love her blog too)….and so is the post! I would love to elaborate on the subject since it's something the hubs and I aren't shy about in our marriage (

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