#Awkward

I had a very awkward and entertaining
evening the other night which I thought was worth sharing with you all.  You can all have a laugh at my expense.

At about 9pm on Thursday night, I wondered off to bed to read for awhile.  I’m in the bathroom getting changed when I notice that half my new belly
button ring jewel is missing.  The big ball thing at the top (I’m sure it’s got a name – no idea what).  Oops!
So it is now sliding out of my newly pierced belly button and I cant risk it coming out.  Hubby is
fast asleep and has been for over an hour.  So I am now half dressed
/ undressed and I’m in a little bit of a quandary about it.  I can’t take my dress off as I am now holding the one half
in properly stopping it from coming out any further.
Anyway, the only option is to call Son no 3 for help.  Son no 4 is fast asleep already.  Son no 3 is highly embarrassed about the whole belly ring thing in the first place and I’m not allowed to talk about it in front of him.  Now I am standing in the bathroom holding the front of my dress up so I can hold on to the jewel.  Son no 3 doesn’t know where to look as he can see my panties which don’t exactly leave much to the imagination.  Just a little awkward.  He does however realize that I need some help!
So Son no 3 and I do a search through the house to see if we can find the missing bit – this is with me walking around holding my dress up and still holding the one half of the jewel in.  We
then go out to the car (after setting the alarm off) to see if it fell off in
the car.  No such luck.
Anyway, we are now both thinking of what to do and how we can
hold it in place.  Son no 3 eventually disappears and comes back with the Hilti picture hanging tool set thinking
one of the white knobby things may work.  Not sure you know what I’m talking about here so have included a pic.  They were far too big and we try a few
other things – including wax that the kids use on their braces.  Nothing works.
Hilti Picture Hanging Tool Set
So eventually I start phoning friends I know who may have a “spare part” for my belly button jewel .   Also no luck!
I ask Son no 3 if he knows any girls from school who may
have a belly ring.  And of course his girlfriends sister has one.
 So I ask him to please call her and ask if she has a ball thing to lend me.
 He doesn’t want to ask her as he feels awkward so now I have to call
his girlfriend and ask her.
It turns out that she has a spare ball for me.  So now
I have to get it from her.
We get in the car – me still with my hand stuck up my
dress holding everything in place.  Son no 3 and I are now hysterical
as we are laughing so much.  Anyway, I sit in a position so that it
stays in place and I can sort of drive with 2 hands.  My dress all the way
up so I can see what’s going on.  (No there are no photo’s).
Anyway, we get to his girlfriends place (20 minute
drive).  He goes inside and gets a spare part for me. He hands me
the ball.  Now it is dark in the car.  My eyesight is bad enough with
small things and there is no way I can see how to put the ball on, even with my
reading glasses on and all the lights on.  Again we are laughing hysterically.
Eventually I admit defeat and ask my son for help to put it on.  He comes over to the driver side of the car and helps
me put the ball on (real awkward with his hand stuck up my dress!)
Now of course we are obliged to go inside for
coffee.  It’s almost 10 at night and I have to go inside and be
nice to parents and have a laugh about my belly ring (awkward enough admitting
I have one without having a laugh about loosing
bits).
I was so embarrassed.  God only knows what they think
of me!  Dilly blond comes to mind!

Lanthie Ransom

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8 thoughts on “#Awkward

  1. Oh my days Lanthie. Awkward is putting it mildly.

    I had visions of you on the BBC news channel – “Mother caught in car driving madly with her skirt right up, with son no 3 in wild hysterics sitting next to her late at night, mother claimed it was all due to a lost belly ball! Child social services have now been called”…

    Lanthie, you'd be the talk of the town for months. Your children would be shamed and your husband would awake to journalists besieging the property from every angle forcing him to make a statement but all he knows is that he was asleep.

    I can't stop laughing right now, this is so funny and conjuring up so many images for me, ha ha haha.

  2. I LOVE this story!!!! OMG I would have been laughing so hard if this happened to me. Awkward and embarrassing to be sure but GAWD this is too funny! Great story to share with the future grandkids one day.

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