I am busy watching one of the new episodes of Glee where they feature Billy Joel (See YouTube video at end of post).  The cast have just sung Honesty and it has touched a nerve.

I have been thinking about the importance of honesty just recently.  We all fall into the habit of

sacrificing ourselves to the people we love rather than being open and honest and telling people what we want or what we think.  As a result we find that life runs away and we end up doing things we don’t like or being in situations we don’t want to be in.  Or perhaps just ending up being someone we don’t want to be.

There is a very small handful of people I can be honest with – in fact I think there is 1 I can be totally
honest with and another who comes a close second, And these 2 relationships have had a huge impact on my life. They offer a listening ear without judgement and total acceptance.
The people who love us should be able to accept us for who and what we are – without judgement.

We tend to not tell the truth in order to keep the peace.  But the reality is that in doing so, we are hiding much of the discontent that builds up in our lives and relationships.  Which invariably ends up manifesting itself as anger or hatred.  And the result of this is that the opportunity for understanding and being heard is lost.

Yes, you run the risk of not getting the reaction you wanted or expected.  But those who are close to you should be able to respect the truth and your feelings.  Without honesty there is no trust.  And without trust there is nothing to build a relationship on.

Honesty is not easy to share or hear.  We also don’t have to agree with others.  But we do need to respect everyone’s feelings and viewpoints – it allows for a relationship to grow.  And unfortunately to end if that what the truth requires.

If someone cannot deal with the truth, then it is time to move on and create space for like-minded people who are not going to judge you and will accept you for who you are.  And love you for who and what you are.

It takes a huge amount of courage to be honest. Not to mention the right timing. Honesty can be delivered with compassion and empathy, but those acts of kindness also belong to ourselves. By being honest, you are being compassionate and kind to yourself and that, is the most important thing.

I would be interested to hear your viewpoints on this subject so go on and leave a message……

Lanthie Ransom

Stroking Pussy

I like to play around with titles and sometimes you are not quite sure what you are getting.  Well fellow bloggers and followers – this post is all about stroking pussy – in the biblical sense!  So those of you who are under 18 or are not open minded, please move on.

To be exact, this post is about learning to give your partner a perfect orgasm – in a Tantric sort of way.

Mmmm – Hope I have your juices flowing……  Curious?  Read on…..

I came across a post the other day about Orgasmic Meditation or OM as it is abbreviated to.   In brief  terms, this is a practice where one partner gently strokes the other partners clit for 15 minutes – Note that it is for 15 minutes ONLY!  The goal is not to orgasm.  In fact there is no goal except to relax.  The fact that you may or do actually orgasm is the cherry on top so to speak.

Quite honestly I don’t see how you can not orgasm – watch the video at the end!

It is recommended that women receive OM about 3 times a week.  There are quite a few benefits and I wont go into detail here – I’ll put some links at the end of the post and you can read up on them yourself.

It works like this and I quote: “after building a “nest” out of soft furnishings, the stroking partner lubes a gloved finger, sets a timer for exactly 15 minutes, and strokes the “upper left quadrant” of the woman’s clitoris with no goal but to “feel what is happening in the moment.” Before he (or she) gets down to business, the stroker examines and describes the vagina he’s about to stroke, discussing color, texture, shape, and any feelings he’s having while looking at it. This is a pretty uncomfortable thing to watch. At the end of the allotted time, both parties share a glimpse of their experience, using sentences like, “A white light extended from your pussy through to my finger.” (In OM, the vagina is always, always, a “pussy.”) Theoretically, the experience is equally intense for both participants—stroker and strokee.”

Yeah – the “stroker” has to examine you and describe what he is seeing.  Um, just a little awkward!  Or is it?  Should this not be part of the intimacy you share.  Should you not be open with each other and be able to describe what you are seeing and what you are feeling?

So why not give it a try with that someone special in your life!  It might just be an enlightening experience.  What have you got to loose?

Here are some links to articles I found interesting on the subject:

And please take the time to watch the video below.  You will not be sorry.  The video is reasonably clean.

Lanthie Ransom

Getting Naked!

I read 2 posts this week that had a major impact on how I have been feeling lately.  The first was by Beth from Writer B Is Me and her post was titled: A Stiptease for You.

She knocked it on the head for me when she said “But when I don’t write the heavy shit out, I get stuck.” And it suddenly dawned on me why I am struggling to write just recently.

You see I have not been able to actually sit and write about me for quite a few weeks now.  I seem to have lost my sense of humor and hidden the real me behind a false facade.

I have been going through a few personal challenges.  Some Most of which I still cannot sit and write about.  Life is complicated at the best of times.

I have been going through a re-discovery period.  Questioning life and it’s meaning.  And a lot of self realization has happened.  I feel I cannot just sit and let life happen.  I need to make life happen.

What I need is to be able to sit and write about it all.  Just spill my guts and tell you all about how I

feel, what I want and what I’m doing.  And how it is all affecting my life.  But somehow getting this naked in front of you  is very difficult.  I am not ready yet to tell my story.

There are only a select few I have been able to open up to.  To share my story and my views, without feeling guilty or that I am being judged for feeling the way I do.  Others consider it selfish!  Some consider it ridiculous!  Some consider it stupid!  Some say I am being extremely foolish!

So it has made it very hard for me to make decisions about my life.  And they certainly are life changing decisions.  Am I doing the right thing?  It is right for me?  Is it right for my kids?  Am I being selfish?  Am I being foolish?  What about money?  What about my career?  Should I not just be content with what I have?  What about ………?  There are so many questions…….

Someone said I need to talk it through with a Councillor.  Now to be honest I have no faith in Councillors (no offence meant to any of you out there).  I just don’t believe there is a box I fit into. I am bigger than any box.  Not only that, I don’t want someone else to guide my thoughts.  To me the decisions need to come from within and not guided by someone else.

I did actually go and see a Councillor of sorts though and we had a good chat.  He made a lot of sense.  I expressed my feelings and concerns and questioned my motives.  Explained I was having problems with making decisions.  Explained how I felt and why I felt it.  He told me to stop asking questions.  He told me to stop all the “what if’s”.  He told me I needed to make decisions based on what my gut was telling me – what I’d known for a long time.  To listen to my inner “shakra” or “Yoni”.  The rest would resolve itself one way or the other.

So having talked it through with him I feel a lot better in making some decisions.  I also feel more confident in the fact that I will be OK, no matter what decisions I make down the line.

The second post I read was by a new blogger called Monique from Yours Sincerely and her post was titled: You Are Perfect Just the Way you are.

The words she used that resonated for me were “Who you are behind the masks is the real “perfect”, you are unique and I must tell you that no mask lasts forever. So while we are trying to maintain that illusion of the perfect mask we are forgetting who we truly are and want to be. We are missing ourselves all while we try our best to keep up the good appearance so the others with the masks won’t judge us.

And I realize this is so true.  I cannot put on a mask anymore.  I cannot play at being someone I am not.  I NEED TO BE ME!  And I believe that I will find happiness if I let the real me out.

And the people in my life need to accept me for who I am and not for who they want me to be.  They need to love me for the person I am – UNCONDITIONALLY!

(PS – please pop over and say HI to Monique – She needs some encouragement as a new blogger.  Tell her I sent you)

Lanthie Ransom