Monthly Archives: December 2013

Honesty

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I am busy watching one of the new episodes of Glee where they feature Billy Joel (See YouTube video at end of post).  The cast have just sung Honesty and it has touched a nerve.

I have been thinking about the importance of honesty just recently.  We all fall into the habit of

sacrificing ourselves to the people we love rather than being open and honest and telling people what we want or what we think.  As a result we find that life runs away and we end up doing things we don’t like or being in situations we don’t want to be in.  Or perhaps just ending up being someone we don’t want to be.

There is a very small handful of people I can be honest with – in fact I think there is 1 I can be totally
honest with and another who comes a close second, And these 2 relationships have had a huge impact on my life. They offer a listening ear without judgement and total acceptance.
The people who love us should be able to accept us for who and what we are – without judgement.

We tend to not tell the truth in order to keep the peace.  But the reality is that in doing so, we are hiding much of the discontent that builds up in our lives and relationships.  Which invariably ends up manifesting itself as anger or hatred.  And the result of this is that the opportunity for understanding and being heard is lost.

Yes, you run the risk of not getting the reaction you wanted or expected.  But those who are close to you should be able to respect the truth and your feelings.  Without honesty there is no trust.  And without trust there is nothing to build a relationship on.

Honesty is not easy to share or hear.  We also don’t have to agree with others.  But we do need to respect everyone’s feelings and viewpoints – it allows for a relationship to grow.  And unfortunately to end if that what the truth requires.

If someone cannot deal with the truth, then it is time to move on and create space for like-minded people who are not going to judge you and will accept you for who you are.  And love you for who and what you are.

It takes a huge amount of courage to be honest. Not to mention the right timing. Honesty can be delivered with compassion and empathy, but those acts of kindness also belong to ourselves. By being honest, you are being compassionate and kind to yourself and that, is the most important thing.

I would be interested to hear your viewpoints on this subject so go on and leave a message……

Lanthie Ransom

Stroking Pussy

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I like to play around with titles and sometimes you are not quite sure what you are getting.  Well fellow bloggers and followers – this post is all about stroking pussy – in the biblical sense!  So those of you who are under 18 or are not open minded, please move on.

To be exact, this post is about learning to give your partner a perfect orgasm – in a Tantric sort of way.

Mmmm – Hope I have your juices flowing……  Curious?  Read on…..

I came across a post the other day about Orgasmic Meditation or OM as it is abbreviated to.   In brief  terms, this is a practice where one partner gently strokes the other partners clit for 15 minutes – Note that it is for 15 minutes ONLY!  The goal is not to orgasm.  In fact there is no goal except to relax.  The fact that you may or do actually orgasm is the cherry on top so to speak.

Quite honestly I don’t see how you can not orgasm – watch the video at the end!

It is recommended that women receive OM about 3 times a week.  There are quite a few benefits and I wont go into detail here – I’ll put some links at the end of the post and you can read up on them yourself.

It works like this and I quote: “after building a “nest” out of soft furnishings, the stroking partner lubes a gloved finger, sets a timer for exactly 15 minutes, and strokes the “upper left quadrant” of the woman’s clitoris with no goal but to “feel what is happening in the moment.” Before he (or she) gets down to business, the stroker examines and describes the vagina he’s about to stroke, discussing color, texture, shape, and any feelings he’s having while looking at it. This is a pretty uncomfortable thing to watch. At the end of the allotted time, both parties share a glimpse of their experience, using sentences like, “A white light extended from your pussy through to my finger.” (In OM, the vagina is always, always, a “pussy.”) Theoretically, the experience is equally intense for both participants—stroker and strokee.”

Yeah – the “stroker” has to examine you and describe what he is seeing.  Um, just a little awkward!  Or is it?  Should this not be part of the intimacy you share.  Should you not be open with each other and be able to describe what you are seeing and what you are feeling?

So why not give it a try with that someone special in your life!  It might just be an enlightening experience.  What have you got to loose?

Here are some links to articles I found interesting on the subject:

And please take the time to watch the video below.  You will not be sorry.  The video is reasonably clean.

Lanthie Ransom

Getting Naked!

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I read 2 posts this week that had a major impact on how I have been feeling lately.  The first was by Beth from Writer B Is Me and her post was titled: A Stiptease for You.

She knocked it on the head for me when she said “But when I don’t write the heavy shit out, I get stuck.” And it suddenly dawned on me why I am struggling to write just recently.

You see I have not been able to actually sit and write about me for quite a few weeks now.  I seem to have lost my sense of humor and hidden the real me behind a false facade.

I have been going through a few personal challenges.  Some Most of which I still cannot sit and write about.  Life is complicated at the best of times.

I have been going through a re-discovery period.  Questioning life and it’s meaning.  And a lot of self realization has happened.  I feel I cannot just sit and let life happen.  I need to make life happen.

What I need is to be able to sit and write about it all.  Just spill my guts and tell you all about how I

feel, what I want and what I’m doing.  And how it is all affecting my life.  But somehow getting this naked in front of you  is very difficult.  I am not ready yet to tell my story.

There are only a select few I have been able to open up to.  To share my story and my views, without feeling guilty or that I am being judged for feeling the way I do.  Others consider it selfish!  Some consider it ridiculous!  Some consider it stupid!  Some say I am being extremely foolish!

So it has made it very hard for me to make decisions about my life.  And they certainly are life changing decisions.  Am I doing the right thing?  It is right for me?  Is it right for my kids?  Am I being selfish?  Am I being foolish?  What about money?  What about my career?  Should I not just be content with what I have?  What about ………?  There are so many questions…….

Someone said I need to talk it through with a Councillor.  Now to be honest I have no faith in Councillors (no offence meant to any of you out there).  I just don’t believe there is a box I fit into. I am bigger than any box.  Not only that, I don’t want someone else to guide my thoughts.  To me the decisions need to come from within and not guided by someone else.

I did actually go and see a Councillor of sorts though and we had a good chat.  He made a lot of sense.  I expressed my feelings and concerns and questioned my motives.  Explained I was having problems with making decisions.  Explained how I felt and why I felt it.  He told me to stop asking questions.  He told me to stop all the “what if’s”.  He told me I needed to make decisions based on what my gut was telling me – what I’d known for a long time.  To listen to my inner “shakra” or “Yoni”.  The rest would resolve itself one way or the other.

So having talked it through with him I feel a lot better in making some decisions.  I also feel more confident in the fact that I will be OK, no matter what decisions I make down the line.

The second post I read was by a new blogger called Monique from Yours Sincerely and her post was titled: You Are Perfect Just the Way you are.

The words she used that resonated for me were “Who you are behind the masks is the real “perfect”, you are unique and I must tell you that no mask lasts forever. So while we are trying to maintain that illusion of the perfect mask we are forgetting who we truly are and want to be. We are missing ourselves all while we try our best to keep up the good appearance so the others with the masks won’t judge us.“

And I realize this is so true.  I cannot put on a mask anymore.  I cannot play at being someone I am not.  I NEED TO BE ME!  And I believe that I will find happiness if I let the real me out.

And the people in my life need to accept me for who I am and not for who they want me to be.  They need to love me for the person I am – UNCONDITIONALLY!

(PS – please pop over and say HI to Monique – She needs some encouragement as a new blogger.  Tell her I sent you)

Lanthie Ransom

A Befitting Tribute to Tata Madiba

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I came across a YouTube video today of a flash mob at one of our local Woolworths stores titled:
Woolies and Soweto Gospel Choir: Madiba Tribute.

I absolutely love flash mobs so I logged into YouTube to watch it.  As I watched, I thought how proud I was to live in this beautiful country and how proud I am of being part of this Rainbow Nation.
It is a truly befitting tribute to Nelson Mandela.  Well done Woolworths and The Soweto Gospel Choir for making us all proud.

I know you will not understand the song but it is absolutely beautiful so please make the effort to listen to it. It is a song by our very own Johnny Clegg called Asimbonanga.  It gave me goosebumps!

Lanthie Ransom

History in the making – The Death of an Icon

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This last week has been full of so many memorable occasions, some good and some bad.

The week started off with my sons Valedictory service on Monday night.  And his subsequent guest status at the launch of the Official Nelson Mandela Opus on Tuesday. (Read my 2 previous posts)

Wednesday saw the end of our school year (yippee – no more school run for 6 weeks and I get to sleep past 4am)

Thursday – well let me start my story off from here……

Thursday was memorable for more than one thing and has certainly been a memorable one for people all over the world.

We had our staff End-Of-Year lunch function on Thursday afternoon at a place called Gilroys out near Muldersdrift.  We each had to bring a R50 (about $5) gender neutral gift.  So after ordering our first round of drinks, we assembled all the gifts on a table.  Each person had to pick a gift from the table and open it.  If you didn’t like your gift, you could swop it with anyone else’s gift within 30 seconds.  So this provided quite a bit of entertainment.  Some of the more popular gifts were:

The most popular gift which was swopped out many a time

Another popular gift – emergency kit consisting of clown nose, bowtie and hanky

And a notepad that provided hours of entertainment

Once the gifts were all opened, we had to move to another table under cover as it looked like it was going to rain.  Someone then started off a game – It had to do with the notebook above.   A basic picture was drawn and the notepad was passed around and we each had to add to it.  This provided loads of giggles all round and was a load of fun.

The before picture

The after picture

Then it started to rain – hard!.  There was another group of people sitting near us under cover – they were obviously also having their end of year function and their group were all still arriving.  There was a little bit of a walk from the carpark to the venue so they were all rather soaked by the time they got to their tables.  Of course by now we were in a rather festive spirit and decided to have a “Wet T-shirt shirt/blouse competition”.  We quickly drew up some numbers on the back of the menu’s that were left laying around and we started scoring their guests as they arrived.

Scoring at it’s best!

After this, it was time for a late lunch which was awesome.  There is nothing better than a pub lunch.  By this time the other group sitting behind us had had rather far too much too drink and were very rowdy so we asked to be moved to another area.

The rest of the afternoon was spent just having good fun and being entertained with a few jokes by our host (Owner of the bar who looks just like Father Christmas).

Most of our group left late afternoon and a few of use were left lingering over some coffee and chatting for a few hours.  It was a very pleasant afternoon.

I eventually got home around 7.30pm in the evening.  Little did I know the day would offer more surprises.

I spent the rest of the evening relaxing and chatting to a few friends via social media.  Eventually to bed.  I had just dozed off when my phone went DING.   It was late – just gone midnight and I thought it strange that someone was messaging me at this time of night.

So curiosity got the better of me and I had a look at who it was.  It was Son no 3 who was currently staying over at a friends house.  The message read was as follows:

And this is how I found out that the Father of our Nation, Nelson Mandela had died.  It came as a huge shock.  My son was upset – his icon had died and he had not had the opportunity to meet him as yet.

I quickly nudged dead hubby who had been fast asleep for ages.  He woke with a fright and was very shocked by the news.  Hubby is the COO of the stadium where the memorial service is to be held at so he spent the rest of the night on the phone with various people putting plans into action.

I don’t think anyone got much sleep on Thursday night.  We all knew this moment would arrive and we were all prepared, but little did we know it would come as a shock regardless.

Lanthie Ransom

The Official Nelson Mandela Opus and more proud moments

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Today was another special day for me.  I was cornered by the school principal the other day who asked me if Jeff (Son no 4) could attend a function today as he had been chosen to read a poem.  He gave a vague description of the function, but to be quite honest I wasn’t really listening and thought it was another one of those waste of school functions where they invite 100 kids to listen to some boring speeches in the name of education.

Anyway, I reluctantly agreed and had to re-arrange a whole bunch of meetings today in order to pick him up early from school and take him to this function.

We arrived on time at the Nelson Mandela Foundation Center of Memory in Houghton, Johannesburg.  I had never been here before so was eager to look around.  Again I’m going to share with pictures where I can.

Anyway, the event was actually for the launch of The official Nelson Mandela Opus.  Now I had no idea what an Opus was so I had to look it up.  I’m not going to go into too much detail here describing it to you so please click on the link and read up about it. In short, and I quote direct from the About section of the site: The Official Nelson Mandela Opus celebrates the life and legacy of one of the world’s greatest icons. Unprecedented access to archive material from family and friends, exclusive imagery and work from world renowned photographers and writers, allows Opus to truly honor Nelson Mandela the friend, the father, the husband, the activist, the President. The Opus tells this story in a depth and on a scale that has never been seen before, immortalizing Nelson Mandela’s life.

Invitation

We were welcomed by Matchworld Media and The Opus Media Group and shown into the auditorium.  They did a quick run through of the event with Jeff, a test read by Jeff and loads of pictures taken by various photographers and journalists.

We were then at our leisure until the function actually started and offered tea, juice and snacks.  So we took advantage of the time and browsed around.  I took a few photographs.  Hope I do them justice as I only had my phone with me to take them with.  Please click on the link and have a look at what The Nelson Mandela Foundation Centre of Memory is all about.  It is what holds the legacy of our past intact for every South African.

Yummy Snacks!

One of the artworks specially created for the Opus

One of the wall murals at the Centre

The F1 Opus

One of the wall murals at the Centre

As you can see the lighting was not great so it is difficult explaining the various murals and artworks.

Eventually the event started – just over an hour late.  Mr Cyril Rhamaphosa, the deputy president of the ANC was supposed to give a speech at the event but he was called away at the last minute and one of our ministers (Minister Lindiwe Sizulu) was asked to attend on his behalf.  We had a whole bunch of speeches by various members of Opus and Matchworld introducing the Nelson Mandela Opus.

Jeff was then called up to read out his portion of the poem.  The poem is titled “Radiant Khulu“.  It was specially written for the Opus and I would have liked to have included it here but as I cannot credit the poet, I would rather not.  He was one of 4 students chosen to be part of this historical event so I was very proud of him.

Jeff, fully composed as usual in front of an audience

We then had a few more speeches and then the unveiling of the actual Opus by Graca Machel (Nelson Mandela’s Wife) and Minister Lindiwe Sizula and various members of the Mandela family.

The unveiling of the Official Nelson Mandela Opus

If you have the time, please click on the various links provided in this post.  It provides some interesting insight into our history and the living memory thereof.

Here are some links to various news articles on today’s event:

My son has made me extremely proud this week.

Lanthie Ransom