Blessed

I had the privaledge of spending the weekend with some of the most amazing people I know at one of my favourite places.

Dombeya Game Reserve is a little piece of Africa that feels like home to me and one of the reasons I could never leave this CountryI now call home, Eswatini.

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Out with the Old, In with the New

TIime marches on and so do we.

It becomes necessary for a facelift once in awhile and I have updated old and tired logo’s and templates. I am sure thiswill be a work in progress for a few weeks till I am entirely happy. Watch this space…

I will also no longer be posting my blog to my personal facebook and other profiles unless I find ir worthy or necessary. Should you wish to follows me, please hop on over to the following link:

Facebook

Let me know your thoughts.

Ciao for now

Things I wish I had taught my Children

We all have those retrospective moments where we look back on life and wish we had done things differently or at least wish we had specified or spoken about certain issues rather than them being implied.

Just recently I have being making a list of things I wish I had pushed more or spoken about more openly with my children, so I though it time to jot these down. There are not many but they are fundamentals in my book.

I thought these things would go without saying, and I should have ingrained it into my children well before they left home but it took them leaving home for me to realise the importance of these topics.

Family is Everything

I am not referring to Aunts and Uncles and distant relatives. What I am referring to is your kin, your blood relatives. Your direct family – brothers, sisters, mother, father.

We were a typical “boy” household. My sons all partook in the usual rough and tumble each day and as they got older the effects of too much testosterone was definitely felt in the house. Especially when they spoke about certain topics such as technology or IT (They are all geniuses when it comes to these topics)

I also find their ego’s get in the way. Each insisting they are right or they wont do X until the other comes to his senses or apologises. Typical sibling rivalry.

And as they got older and dispersed around the world, they are not as close as I would like.

Life is hard and can be really challenging at times, but the one thing you should all be able to count on, is your family. And you should be there for each other no matter what – in good times and bad. It is a life long bond.

And that means staying close, regular conversation and interest in what is going on in each others lives and being able to ask for help or offer help without there being an agenda.

You all get a free pass when it comes to family. And sometimes this means taking the first step to say “Hi, how are you doing? How is your family? ” And doing this regularly, even if the other doesnt reply. Do it again, and again, and again, till they respond, It may be that life has been hard and they don’t know how to reach out. There is never too much water under this bridge.

Debate is Good (Critical Thinking)

Covid has challenged family relationships and friendships alike. I struggled with this one. This whole Covid thing was new. So many opinions, articles, experts. All I wanted was to have a conversation, not only with my family, but friends alike. And no one wanted to explore any other view other than their own.

Each of us was labelled as crazy!

Sit down with those you love and care about. Listen to their view or opinion. They are not always right, but perhaps they have some insight or perspective you have not taken into consideration. And perhaps you can offer them some perspective or food for thought. As my partner always says, when in doubt go back to first premise. If I wasnt crazy last week, why would you think I am crazy today.

Have an open mind. Engage…

Listen, debate, discuss

It’s what helps you grow as a person.

The Importance of Calling your Mom (Communication)

Whew! Another one I struggle with. I think it’s a boy thing. Girls interact far more than boys (at least so I’m told).

I hear from my daughter-in-laws regularly. but I never get to hear from my sons. Saying that, I connect regularly with my 2 younger sons. I think as they get older and get married, the obligation is handed to their wives to make these calls.

The reality is that your mother is just as concerned about you today as she was when you were seconds old. She still goes to bed at night with her phone on loud, charging, in case her children need her, or want to chat. It doesn’t matter how hold you are.

I worry about my children every day. Not a day goes by where they are not the primary focus of my day. Concerned about them, are they ok? Wishing I could share all the hapy moments of my life with them.

Yes, I want the pictures and videos of my grandchildren, in fact I live for these moments. But I also want to know how my Son’s are. I want to hear their voices. Tell them I love them and miss them. I want to know what is going on in their lives.

Sadly my Mother passed on many many years ago and we had a troubled relationship. But there is not a day that goes by where I would’nt give anything to have had more time with my Mother.

This is one of the biggest regrets I have in my life. So a message to you all – Call you Mother, you will regret it when she is gone!

Smelling the Roses

I am as guilty as any if you in not taking time out to appreciate life and all it has to offer.

I’ve been under the weather lately, not feeling well but not sick enough to stay in bed. Realizing it is just pure stress and the daily obligations of life getting me down.

I read a poem yesterday reposted by a good friend of mine on Facebook and it puts life into perspective. So I thought I would share.

The poem is by Donna Ashworth from her new poetry book ‘LIFE’: https://amzn.eu/d/9Y6E6kz

NO WAITING ROOM

What if you didn’t wake up tomorrow and your soul is watching down thinking of all the things you didn’t get to do yet because you were too scared, or too shy, or too worried about money.
And all the things you told yourself you weren’t good enough for, swam in front of your eyes, fighting for a place in the line, beside the words you didn’t say and the joy you forgot to have.

My friend, there is absolutely no room for anything in your day, other than acceptance.
You will never have enough money, or time, and you will certainly never have that perfect body the world told you you need, to be happy.

And before you say it’s too late to embrace this thing we call life, no it is not.

You can do it right where you are. Right this minute.
Get outside, breathe, look at the trees, put your bare feet on the grass – hand on your heart to feel that pulse – and that’s it.

You’re living.

Keep that up.

Wait up for the moon sometimes or get up early to see a sunrise, just because you can.
Jump in the lake. Run, skip.
The things you need to feel alive are free and all around my friend.
You just have to see them.

Let in opportunity and say yes to the invitations that scare you a little, in a good way.
Say no to some of the things you force yourself to do, knowing they rinse you of your peace.

Life was never supposed to be a waiting room, it was supposed to be a hillside, with paths leading in every direction and mountains as far as the eye can see, hiding adventures and new friends behind them.

Don’t let yourself get to the end of this ride without having stopped to smell those beautiful roses.
That’s the only thing you need to fear in this life.
Everything else is all part of it.
It’s all just a messy, complicated, beautiful and terrifying part of it.

Chin up, throw your arms wide open
and let it be so.

In Loving Memory of My Father

It is Father’s Day today and it also would have been the 95th birthday of my Dad.

So before I go rambling on about my Dad, may I wish all Father’s a Very Happy Father’s Day. I know the circumstances surrounding this special day are not always ideal and unfortunately not all Father’s have the opportunity or the privilege of spending time with their children today.

A sad reality of the times we live in is the number of broken marriages. And Father’s are often on the losing end when it comes to having to negotiate visiting rights and access to their children.

Sadly I am also aware of many Father’s who have decided to abandon their obligations to their children after the breakup of a marriage, and this not only means financial obligations, but also the obligation of being a parent and being part of their children’s lives.

My Dad was not the best Dad in the world and my parents did not have a happy marriage. I have many memories of plates being thrown across the room by my parents and the consistent yelling and screaming at each other that ensued, with my brother and I sitting in our rooms quietly hoping it would all go away and wishing we could just leave.

My Mother’s struggle with alcohol exacerbated the situation and I am sure there are many of you with similar stories.

This blog is not to share the pains and bad memories of my life, but rather a celebration of my Father.

Regardless of how bad things were at home, he was always there for us. He stuck it out and bit his tongue with my mother and the end of his years were enough to test anyone.

He always made sure we were well provided for and we wanted for nothing and he stood by my mother and us till the end.

I left home at 17 to seek a better life and that too was filled with its own trials and tribulations.

Sadly my Dad was diagnosed with Emphesema at about the same time as I left home and he spent many years carrying around an oxygen bottle as he was not able to breathe and slept in a recliner as he could not lay down.

My last memory of my Dad was my final visit to him in hospital before he passed away where he pointed to the corner of his room. He could not speak much as he had an oxygen mask on. He had bought my eldest son a gift for his second Birthday.

It was one of those black scooters that toddlers love riding around.

I remember the moment like it was yesterday. I was 22 at the time (some 32 years ago).

My Dad passed on a few days after this and never got to see his Grandson use the scooter.

I only have fleeting memories of my Dad now and wish I had more time with him and wish he could have gotten to know his 4 amazing Grandsons and Great Grandchildren. They have done me proud and I know he is looking down on them, full of pride and joy.

Here’s to you Dad, with all my love and thanks for bringing me into this world.

It’s MY time to Shine

I’m subtly aware of the whispers in the dark about my banner and I’ve often thought about taking it down. The honesty is that it took quite a bit (A LOT) of guts and thought to put it out there in the first place.

So why am I sprawled out in my lingerie?

The answer is simple, every woman needs to feel fabulous and I’m at an age where I have nothing to hide or to be ashamed of.

It’s me, a part of me and a part of all women.

Too often hidden, many times forgotten and all also sadly relagated to the bottom of a list that never quiet gets addressed as life and its challenges lay their demands at one’s door!

Its a reminder that I am more than a mother, a grandmother, a girlfriend, an entrepreneur or a work collegue.

You just gotta ignite the light, and let it shine

Like all women there is an enigma to us, so its a banner to that and at the same time it’s a catalyst to spur me forward to “Be all I can be” and as a very good friend always says “Why be less than Fabulous!”

My life has these past years morphed more and more into a life that reflects me, all of me, in small steps, large leaps and some painful setbacks. I am here and I am good with that!

So this is my Journey and its only just getting started! My youngest out the nest and very well set up all on his own steam.

Proud! Happy!  At ease and also looking forward to explore more that is me, hidden behind duty and need that family brings.

It’s my time to shine.

It’s time for you to shine too

Happy Thursday all and may you have a Fabulous day!