Don’t Piss Me Off!

I have a few pet peeves.  Some of the ones at the top of my list are (in no particular order)……

  • People who litter – This is the lowest you can go – really!  For F’sake put it in a trash can – how difficult can it be!
  • Banks – any bank / any department – I just generally have an issue with banks – and they have an issue with me clearly!
  • Call Center agents – Please don’t call me to ask for a donation or sell me something – I will be extremely rude and possibly insult you (the only time I ever insult anyone).

I have had 2 issues over the last 2 weeks with my bank – and just for reference, I bank with Standard Bank.  Probably won’t mean anything to most of you. 

Anyway, the FIRST issue is as follows:

I received a text message from my bank informing me that I am being handed over to attorneys for non payment of my Home Loan (Mortgage).  I ignore the first message.  Why?  Because I don’t have a home loan and it could be a hoax anyway.

I duly get another text message ….

So now I’m in a quandary – I’ve had issues before where I have ignored something from the bank and they end up going after you with more money than you can ever afford to fight them with.

Now bear in mind that they don’t phone me, I just get a text message!

So I take a deep breath and call them.
I wait for them to answer the call and I wait to be put through to the right person. 
They want my identification number.  Which I give them.
No, they have no record of having sent me a text message or any issues with any of my accounts.
So they ask for my mobile number to track the issue through that. 
So I give it to them. 
Ah the woman says – you must be Mrs XXXX. 
I reply that no, I am not Mrs XXXX (We’ve just had a conversation where I have given her my identification number and she has pulled up all my accounts and details – I only go by one name)
So after much debating, she finally agrees that this is my mobile number and apologizes and they will not send me any more text messages and she will leave a message on the system about our conversation.

I had this conversation on Monday – since then, I have had about 30 phone calls from the bank to my mobile all asking to speak to Mrs XXXX.
Not sure how to make it any clearer that I not Mrs XXXX and this is not her number – I have snarled it and shouted it – must be a hearing problem!

The SECOND issue:

I get a call yesterday from the card division informing me that my Mastercard is due for renewal in 2 months.

Okay – nice of them to let me know…..  and the conversation goes something like this:

Bank:  Where would your like your card delivered to?

Me: My home address please
Bank: Sorry but we cannot deliver it there
Me: Why?
Bank:  For security reasons
Me: What security reasons?
Bank:  We only deliver to the branches themselves
Me:  Um – surely it is safer to deliver into my hands than to a branch where 20 other people have access to it
Bank:  I don’t make the rules
Me:  I can go to 2 or 3 other banks who advertise the fact that they deliver your cards personally to you, so why do you not do this
Bank: I don’t know
Bank: So where would you like us to deliver the card
Me: To the XXX branch (where I opened my account and always transact from)
Bank: Sorry but that is not a full branch.  It is a satellite branch.
Me: So
Bank: So we can only deliver to a full branch
Me: So what was the point of asking me where to deliver my card to.  Why didn’t you just tell me where to fetch it from.
(I won’t expand on the rest of the conversation as I lost my cool)

Have you got any interesting banking stories you want to share?

I know how I’m going to die

I have finally figured out how I am going to die.

I am going to have a heart attack in a bank. 
I hate banks and I see RED every time I have to go into one. My blood pressure just goes sky high the moment I walk through those funny revolving doors. Thank goodness for Internet banking in this day and age otherwise I would have come to an untimely death many years ago. 
There are certain things that really irk me when it comes to banks. I get really annoyed when drawing money from the ATM and getting R200 notes only for instance. Banks don’t seem to understand that you cannot do anything with R200 notes. When you draw cash, you invariably draw the cash to pay for incidentals – you use a card for everything else. I cannot give my children a R200 note to use at the school canteen. I cannot pay my maid or my gardener in large notes either as they cannot use it to pay for their incidentals such as taxi fares etc. 
I have not had a bank account for the last 20 years.  I got fed up one day when they gave hubby better rates and account privileges when we have always earned about the same and are both 50/50 partners in various companies.  I reluctantly opened an account about a year ago again to appease the receiver of revenue here in South Africa.
Today was another one of those occasions that I had to go into the bank personally. 
Son no 2 lives in Dubai. He sold his car in South Africa 2 years ago when he moved to Dubai. The money has been sitting in an interest bearing account here. He now wants to buy a car in Dubai and needs the money. There is no way for him to transfer the money from his account in South Africa to his account in Dubai short of getting on a plane and going to the bank personally. 
So he transferred the money into my account via Internet banking and then I went to the bank to do a telegraphic transfer to his account in Dubai. Seems simple really.
I get the relevant forms and fill them in. The lady at the counter checks everything, then says she needs to check on something. She returns about 2 minutes later asking me who transferred the money into my account. I explain my son did. She asks who I am sending the money to – I explain I am sending it to my son in Dubai. She then says she cannot do the transaction and I need to put the money back into my sons account and my son needs to appear personally and send the money himself to Dubai. I explain that he lives in Dubai and cannot appear personally.  She then insists that the forms can be emailed to him, he can fill them in and send them back via mail.  WTF – mail – there is one thing that is worse in Dubai than it is in South Africa and that is the mail system.  The bank would be lucky to ever get the forms back and best case it would take 6 months.    I just don’t see what the big deal is – he put the money into my account to send to him. She then says that it looks like I am money laundering and they cannot process the transaction. Really – me being accused of money laundering!  No cash has been used to transact with and you can trace it all back from his account to my account – and if they process the transaction, back to him. I am allowed to send up to a R1million out of the country as a gift anyway and this is well below the limit. She still says it cannot be done. 
So I ask if I can send the money from a different account. And she says yes – as long as it is not the same money he gave me. I then had to go to the ATM and transfer funds from my various other accounts into Hubby’s account and then I transferred the money to my son from hubby’s account. Not sure what the bank or the receiver of revenue achieved here short of being real dicks about it all. 
I eventually left the bank needing an ice-pack to cool me down. My HRT tablets definitely don’t work when I get irritated. Why it is that everything has to be so complicated when it comes to banks.