Addendum to Call Me

So it appears that I am a little behind with my Call Me post.  I received a few links to some rather interesting products out there worth trying.

Anyone know how I can become a Guinea Pig?


Happy Ride

Vibrating Bicycle Seat (Currently available)

Lanthie Ransom

Call Me!

Woman can be weird.  And I am no different.  There are little things that make me laugh or giggle and my phone is one of them.

I now have an iPhone 5 – battery life seriously sucks on it so I have gotten into the habit of plugging it into a power source when driving.  All the little compartments in my car are full of various bits of crap like keys / coins / kids phones and other tidbits.

So I tend to plug it in an stick it between my legs while driving.

And then when my phone rings, well, you can just imagine the look on my face (oooh, I’m vibrating!)

So I had this idea – thought I would create an app that well, makes me smile on command if you know what I mean (wink wink).

Thought that if I was going to take this seriously, I would have to do some research and see what other apps are out there.  So I went onto the App store and searched for the term “Vibrator”.  I came across 131 of them.

I downloaded a few FREE ones (in the name of research) and thought I would tell you about them.

iVibe Massage Lite

Tap screen once to start the vibrations.  Makes a hell of a noise.  Yeah, wasn’t too impressed with it.  You can upgrade to the full version for a fee, maybe that comes with more control.


Oh yeah!  Liked this one…..Touch with 1, 2 or 3 fingers to start the vibrations.  The effect was great – will be trying this one a few more times.

Hot Massage

Ok – I paid for this one – looked too good to miss.  This one didn’t do anything different to what any of the free versions did – it vibrated, that was it!


Paid for this one too.  It has a slider that you can move up or down to vary the vibrations – nice feature.  Very simple and easy to use.


This one looked interesting – Says you can send “buzzes” to your friends phones.  Tap buzz to make your friends phone buzz.  Looked like a nice feature so I downloaded it.   Couldn’t figure out how to use it and gave up after 20 seconds.

Others that looked interesting:

3D Color Viibrate Stick

Think you need to buy the “appliance” and download the app to make it work – May add this to my Christmas list!


This one also has an “appliance” that you buy and control with your phone.  mmmm – Must look out for it to try!

Can’t say any of them are “mind blowing” and left me little disappointed and despondent.  Not sure I will be writing that app after all.  None of them really did anything more than receiving a call will do – so CALL ME!

Lanthie Ransom

Orgasms of the Wet Kind

I am sure loads of you are reading this purely because of the title so hope I wont disappoint you.  This is a slightly risque blog so if you are under 18 or narrow minded when it comes to sex, please move on and read something from the left hand side of this post. (Note to my sons – you do not want to read this!)

As you know, I like to read trashy women’s magazines, but occasionally I like to pick up and read a man’s mag.  I picked one up the other day and it was all about how to make a women “SQUIRT“.  This caught my attention immediately so I read on……..

It is not a new term to me – I am aware of some women being able to “Squirt” but this article claimed that all women can do it!  (Sounds like hard work to me.)

So I did some investigation.

Firstly it sounds a little gross to me -why would I want to leave a wet patch behind.  Sex is messy enough without having to lay down waterproof sheets.  But the thought of orgasms’s that are so mind blowing caught my attention.  Now I must admit I have had some rather wet orgasms and felt a little embarrassed about the mess I have left afterwards, but never thought of them as anything more than that.

Squirt – Yeah, we really need to find a new title for it – The term Squirting just sounds so unladylike – perhaps we should call it Spritz or Extravasate or even Erupt – anything is better than the term Squirt.   So I’m going to call it Spritz from here on.

Alright then – let’s get back to mind blowing orgasms – who doesn’t want one.  I must admit that I have had some seriously amazing sex lately.  We all strive to liven up our sex lives in various ways and experiment with different techniques and positions and even introduce various aids into the bedroom and what better way than to add “Spritzing” to the list of things to try.

The only thing required for Spritzing is you and your partner (obviously one of them has to be female) and in fact a partner is not even required and can be achieved by masturbation alone.

Women can have many different types of orgasms and general consensus seems to be 3, but I have come across articles claiming that there are as many as 11 different types of orgasms a woman can have.  The main 3 are:

CLITORAL ORGASM which is most common among women.  This is the direct stimulation of the clitoris and happens during masturbation. You can also give them a clitoral orgasm orally if you know what you’re doing.

VAGINAL ORGASM which comes from the inside of the vagina from either the G-spot or the deep spot. This is the kind of female orgasm that can infuse their entire body, making them feel numb and shiver with excitement uncontrollably. (My favorite!)

BLENDED ORGASM which is a combination of clitoral and vaginal orgasm and is usually the most pleasurable.

Now Spritzing is usually achieved during the Vaginal Orgasm by stimulating the G-spot, which is considered an erotic zone located internally at the front of the vagina. This area is connected with the urethra. Pressure on the G-spot area will probably produce a desire to pee. A woman has to be EXTREMELY comfortable with her partner or with herself in order for this to be achieved. This kind of female orgasm builds a very deep bond between a woman and her partner and is apparently the most intimate and delightful thing you can share as a couple.
I’m not going to give you How-To instructions here – Just look up “How to make women squirt” in Google and you will be inundated with video’s and instructions.

Happy browsing! (nudge nudge wink wink)

Vibrators and Finger Massagers

I have been married for quite a while now and Hubby and I have had our fair share of “toys” in the bedroom. We have a secret stash of P-O-R-N, lubricants, vibrators etc.
My kids have never been the exploring type and we are fairly open and honest. There are no taboo topics which we don’t discuss with them. We encourage talk about sex, nudity etc etc. However there are certain things which we don’t disclose to the kids – our secret stash is of course one of those things.
I keep my vibrators in the bottom draw of my nightstand and the rest is kept elsewhere in the bedroom.
When my first 2 sons were much younger – I think they were around 9 and 6 years old, we went though a period where we spent quite a lot of time in the bedroom as a family – I had just given birth to son no 3 and it was the middle of winter so it was easier to keep the bedroom warm and just hang out there in the evenings. 
So one evening son no 1 and 2 were playing on the floor and hubby and I were watching TV in the bedroom. All of a sudden son no 2 says “What’s this mommy?”

Of course he was holding up my vibrator. Back in those days we did not have all the funny shapes and sizes we have today – they were fairly boring and flesh coloured. So I said the first thing that came to mind – “It is my finger massager”.

Hubby and I froze waiting for a reaction from son no 1 and 2.  
Son no 2 bent back over and put it back in the draw and said “Oh”. And that was the end of the conversation.
Both of them were happy with my explanation, they didn’t ask for any more information and we of course did not volunteer any more. 
It wasn’t until many years later when they were in their late teens when it suddenly dawned on Son no 2 what it was and we had a really good laugh about it. It still comes up occasionally at family gatherings.

(Reblogged from one of my 2012 posts)

The Art Of Self Pleasure

I have been married for a lifetime.  I am not that old though, having been married at 21.  But as most (nearly) middle aged women would agree with, after a certain stage, sex is not quite the same with your dearest beloved.  It is not that you love them any less, it is just a different type of love I suppose.  It is a life long love that endures all evils.  A comfort zone.  A best friend zone.

There are all sorts of challenges one has to deal with.  Managing my own business and bringing up 4 boys has been a full time job on its own for me and I can tell you that there is nothing sexy about any of this.  It leaves me tired and not even a little interested in the bedroom department.  Menopause of course also leaves one even less interested.

Dearest hubby of course is still a typical male – he wants and could have sex 50 times a day – with 10 minute intervals between each session if you know what I mean.  And I hate to admit that I spend a lot of time coming up with excuses as to why I’m not in the mood.

The Art of Self PleasureI needed to go shopping the other morning for groceries and I needed some new underwear.  My lacy nothings are really starting to look like bedraggled nothings.  So hubby decided to tag along.  Now I knew this was a mistake.  I ended up buying all sorts of lacy nothings that I would never wear – mostly due to the fact that I would be more covered wearing a string of pearls.  But anyway, I humored dearest and at least I will have a selection of lacy nothings in the draw so that if ever I pass into the next life, would embarrass the hell out of my sons when emptying out my drawers.  (Message to sons – I told you guys I’d get my own back one day…)

Hubby of course is now in a suggestive mood when we get home and is trying to convince me to go to the bedroom for a little hanky panky.  I’m of course not in the mood.  So I jokingly said “hasn’t he learnt the art of self pleasure yet”.  He thought this was funny.  He replied “can I show him how”.

So it got me thinking.  I think so many marriages would be much happier after a certain number of years if both sexes agreed that self pleasure (and i don’t mean the sort where you are being watched) was OPENLY on the table and perhaps allowing a little hanky panky on the side to relieve some of the sexual burden on each other.   Don’t think of it as cheating but as a supplement to a otherwise perfect marriage.

I am sure many of us do the self pleasure thing on occassion and would die of embarrasement if our partners found out, but I really think it is something that should be made part of your daily routine and we should not feel embarrased about it.

A fellow blogger posted a poem the other day which I thought was perfect for this post so I asked her if she would mind if I used it. So with thanks to Kitt Crescendo from The Inner Wildkat…..


Soft touch
 glide on scented
 The reverent kiss
 of finger tips
 of breast
 and hip.
 Warm response,
 arched back,
 hardened buds,
 heated suction
 or cruel bite…
 Hand delves down,
 center of my universe…
 Wet welcome
 permeates the air.
 Hips raise,
 meet seeking touch…
 Beg to be filled.
 Quick thrust,
 strong and sure.
 and again.
 Light sheen glistens
 Body uncontrolled.
 Friction heats
 tiny bud
 Red lips
 raised in supplication.
 “Oh, God!”