Porn Sex versus Real Sex

Son no 1 is the shy silent type.  He is an IT Geek (The best I know and I work I the IT Industry), and he finds my openly sexually orientated sense of humor a little much at times.

He sent me a link to a YouTube video this week (which didn’t showcase some form of new IT Tech). The video was a little out of character for him so it was obviously worth sharing.  So I popped on over to have a look and thought you would all appreciate it as well.  It explains the difference between Porn sex versus Real sex very well.

Hope you enjoy …….

Can Your Friend Come Play As Well?

I was thinking about the various fantasies that women have the other day and which ones are common to both men and women.  I don’t know about all you ladies out there but have you seen the look on a man’s face when you mention the term “Threesome“.  It almost looks like their brains go into overdrive mode.

I must admit I don’t really have much experience in this field but it is definitely one of my top 5 fantasies.  Turning your fantasy into reality could be a little complicated though.  I am not quite sure how one bring’s up the possibility of a threesome with your significant other – do you just casually say “Can Your Friend Come Play As Well?

Now I know most guys would probably be interested in the female / female / male (FFM) version of a threesome.  The guys I have spoken to about threesome’s have all pulled their faces up at the thought of the male / male / female (MMF) version.  Apparently the thought of 2 naked guys touching creeps them out – especially when their “junk” is involved.

For me personally – I am not fussy.  I am more than happy to fantasize about either.

Imagine being seduced by 2 guys at once.  Men are naturally competitive – and just think about them both bringing their A game and competing to see who can give you the most pleasure.  I must admit I could easily succumb to the thought of a MMF threesome with a number of guys I know.

Although I have often imagined a FFM threesome, I have no girl on girl experience.  But that is not to
say the thought has not crossed my mind (okay – maybe I have said too much here).

Anyway……  Just picturing this scenario – do I choose a close girlfriend and then the two of us pick a guy to partake?  Or do me and my guy pick a girl we both like?  And how do we go about picking said girl?  I would not be able to pick anyone I know – certainly don’t want any of my friends coming anywhere near my guy.  I would not approve of any of the girls he knows either – would make me extremely jealous of what would / could possibly result down the line with them or what has transpired between them in the past. So that leaves a stranger.  Where do you find a girl willing to partake who doesn’t know either of you?  Do you ask around and go on word of mouth from other’s or do you start looking in the back page of the newspaper in the XXX column?  (And let’s not forget she has to be less attractive than I am.)

I managed to find some threesome tips and etiquette and thought I’d share them with you:

Threesome Etiquette

  • Make each other feel comfortable (Set the mood and be accommodating)
  • Let the women initiate the first step
  • Make sure transitions between each other flow
  • Don’t favor one over the other
  • Take turns
  • Don’t constantly try to please both at the same time (There is another person to help)
  • Masturbate if you feel like it
  • Don’t force women (or guys) to do anything with each other
  • Be into everything they suggest
  • Respect each other’s boundaries
  • End it smoothly (Don’t act weird)
  • and most importantly – USE PROTECTION!

How about sharing some of your experiences here if you have any!

Lanthie Ransom

Perfect Encouters (2)

I am posting this again as the link was broken when I originally posted it.  It is a great piece of work so please pop over and read it.

Enjoy …..

We all have some secret fantasy of the perfect date or perfect encounter.  I have a number of perfect scenario’s, but I came across a short story (or poem actually) by a fellow blogger the other day and thought it was worth sharing with you all.  The blog is called Easily Aroused.

Pop on over to read it. It is beautifully written.  But please be warned that the blog is described as “Sensual erotic fiction for discerning women”. So it is a little risque and for the over 18’s.  Click on the image below to read it:

Nature somehow seems to set the tone for the perfect encounter.  I have listed some of my perfect scenario’s below and hope I get to experience them all someday:

  • Being out in the bush, alone watching the sun set while sharing a bottle of wine
  • Staying in a castle together, making love in front of the fireplace at night
  • Having a picnic out in the forest, being seduced by the rays of the sun and a cool breeze
Perfect Sunset

Feel free to share some of your perfect encounters in the comments section below, whether you have experienced them or not.  I would love to hear them.

Orgasms of the Wet Kind

I am sure loads of you are reading this purely because of the title so hope I wont disappoint you.  This is a slightly risque blog so if you are under 18 or narrow minded when it comes to sex, please move on and read something from the left hand side of this post. (Note to my sons – you do not want to read this!)

As you know, I like to read trashy women’s magazines, but occasionally I like to pick up and read a man’s mag.  I picked one up the other day and it was all about how to make a women “SQUIRT“.  This caught my attention immediately so I read on……..

It is not a new term to me – I am aware of some women being able to “Squirt” but this article claimed that all women can do it!  (Sounds like hard work to me.)

So I did some investigation.

Firstly it sounds a little gross to me -why would I want to leave a wet patch behind.  Sex is messy enough without having to lay down waterproof sheets.  But the thought of orgasms’s that are so mind blowing caught my attention.  Now I must admit I have had some rather wet orgasms and felt a little embarrassed about the mess I have left afterwards, but never thought of them as anything more than that.

Squirt – Yeah, we really need to find a new title for it – The term Squirting just sounds so unladylike – perhaps we should call it Spritz or Extravasate or even Erupt – anything is better than the term Squirt.   So I’m going to call it Spritz from here on.

Alright then – let’s get back to mind blowing orgasms – who doesn’t want one.  I must admit that I have had some seriously amazing sex lately.  We all strive to liven up our sex lives in various ways and experiment with different techniques and positions and even introduce various aids into the bedroom and what better way than to add “Spritzing” to the list of things to try.

The only thing required for Spritzing is you and your partner (obviously one of them has to be female) and in fact a partner is not even required and can be achieved by masturbation alone.

Women can have many different types of orgasms and general consensus seems to be 3, but I have come across articles claiming that there are as many as 11 different types of orgasms a woman can have.  The main 3 are:

CLITORAL ORGASM which is most common among women.  This is the direct stimulation of the clitoris and happens during masturbation. You can also give them a clitoral orgasm orally if you know what you’re doing.

VAGINAL ORGASM which comes from the inside of the vagina from either the G-spot or the deep spot. This is the kind of female orgasm that can infuse their entire body, making them feel numb and shiver with excitement uncontrollably. (My favorite!)

BLENDED ORGASM which is a combination of clitoral and vaginal orgasm and is usually the most pleasurable.

Now Spritzing is usually achieved during the Vaginal Orgasm by stimulating the G-spot, which is considered an erotic zone located internally at the front of the vagina. This area is connected with the urethra. Pressure on the G-spot area will probably produce a desire to pee. A woman has to be EXTREMELY comfortable with her partner or with herself in order for this to be achieved. This kind of female orgasm builds a very deep bond between a woman and her partner and is apparently the most intimate and delightful thing you can share as a couple.
I’m not going to give you How-To instructions here – Just look up “How to make women squirt” in Google and you will be inundated with video’s and instructions.

Happy browsing! (nudge nudge wink wink)

Blow Job of the Century

I has been a momentus week for me – I have reached 100,000 views on my blog and in less than 2 years!  A few months ago I would have been ecstatic to reach 50,000 on my second anniversary.  And then about 2 months ago I upped my expectations to 75,000.  So I have exceeded my expections by far and I have you all to thank. 

So THANK YOU to all of you who do me the honour of reading and following my blog.


Now what does this have to do with Blow Jobs you may ask.  Well there is a story.  In fact I have written this story a few times and always end up deleting it as I just cannot get up the courage to press the PUBLISH button.  You see I can write about blow jobs, orgasms, sex, penis sizes etc in general.  But when it comes to the nitty gritty of the real personal side, I go all shy. 

I made 2 promises to Hubby – the second promise was to tell this story publically if I reached 100,000 views in less than 2 years and the first promise is as follows.  (I suggest that anyone who knows me personally go and read someone elses blog or go and make a cup of tea.  I would hate to try and look you in the eye after this.  And a note to my sons – you do not want to read on and it will give you nightmares!)

Hubby has had a weight issue for many many years – in fact most of our married life.  It started off with IBS and then he had complications of diverticular disease and ended up having a huge chunk of his large colon removed about 10 years ago and his weight just seemed to increase as the years went by.  I made a promise to him about 12 years ago that if he ever lost weight and got down to 100kg’s, I would give him a “blow job“. I was hoping it would be motivation enough for him to make the effort to lose the weight.  In our 25 years of marriage, I have never been able to give hubby a BJ – yeah I know, I am a cruel wife!

Last year in May, hubby had a gastric bypass.  Since then he has lost over 60kg’s.  He reached the 100kg mark about 2 months ago.  And hubby was of course quick to politey remind me of my promise.  At first I felt obliged to fulful my promise.  But then when push came to shove, I chickened out.  You see I just cannot do it.

Hubby makes a habit of reminding me of my promise regularly.  And I swallow hard (excuse the pun) and toy with the idea…….. and then chicken out.  I just cannot do it!

So it looks like dear hubby will have to do without the pleasure.  Unless of course he decides to trade me in for a newer model!

The Birds and The Bees

Today I would like to introduce you to one of my dearest friends, Marcia.  We met just after she first started blogging and I found myself in a “menopausal” state.  Her blog indexed well in google so I clicked on the link and found her blog to be well worth revisiting again and again.  I eventually got in touch with her and over the last year or so we have become great friends.  We often find ourselves comparing notes on all things – especially relating to menopause and men and find ourselves chatting well into the night on occasion.

So we have decided to draw up a list of 10 sexy questions and answers and post them on each others sites.

Please pop over to Marcia’s Menopausal Mother’s blog to read my answers, and welcome Marcia to my blog and see her answers below.


I am so excited to be guesting on Life Cherries today! Lanthie is one of the first people I met in the blogosphere when I first started blogging, and she has become a dear friend to me this past year.

When we came up with this idea of sharing 10 sexy questions about ourselves, it was a no-brainer to flip blog sites for the day and guest on each other’s page. So here you have it—Menopausal Mother is airing out her dirty laundry for all to see and feeling a bit naked in the process (anybody got an extra towel or a bathrobe I can cover myself up with?).

1) What turns you on most about the opposite sex?

The first thing I notice about a man is his eyes. I don’t need words. Just. Look. At. Me. I can tell a lot about a man by watching his eyes. The other thing that turns me on is a man’s laughter. Intelligence and humor are important, but the thing that tugs at my heart the most is a man’s soft side…someone who is not afraid to show compassion, his tears and his love.

2) How would you indicate to a man that you are interested in him?

I’d make eye contact. A lot. And I would flirt, but not to the point of being obnoxious. I’d laugh at all his jokes and show him that I am genuinely interested in his life, in a nice way–not a stalker-ish way! I’m the queen of dropping subtle hints but if he doesn’t pick up on them, I’d be forced to tell him how I really felt…never mind—-I couldn’t do that. Fear of rejection would get in the way. I’d write him a letter or a poem or maybe bake him a rum cake….

3) What was your worst date ever?

 My freshman year in college I was shy and uncomfortable in a new city, so a few friends took pity on me and set me up on a blind date to attend our sorority formal dance. This weasely-looking dude comes to pick me up and encourages me to “loosen up” with some rum and coke. I’d never had it before and was deceived by its sweetness. Needless to say, I spent the entire evening with my head in the toilet in the ladies’ room. I begged my “date” to drive me home, but he was having too much fun with his buddies to bother helping me. Longest. Night. Ever.

4) What’s your most embarrassing or funny romantic encounter?

It involved whipped creme. Don’t ask. I can only tell you one very important rule from this experience—-do NOT leave dairy products on your skin for any length of time or else you will end up smelling worse than Limburger cheese.

5) What was your worst romantic flop experience?

When we were still newlyweds, my husband and I ate dinner at a very upscale restaurant to celebrate a birthday. The food was delicious, so we ate a LOT. Too much. Once home, we got amorous despite our full bellies. The moment we finished, we both made a run for the bathroom and promptly threw up our dinners–me at the toilet and he at the sink. Now how romantic is that?

6) Where is the most public place you have had an amorous encounter?

I can only pick one? A shop. A concert. The beach. A lighthouse. And a place I’m too ashamed to admit because I’m probably going to burn in hell for it. Don’t judge—it was long ago and far away in a land called, Young And Stupid.

7) Favorite time of the day for romance?

I’m a night owl, so any time after midnight works for me. It has NOTHING to do with the fact that darkness and moonlight totally enhance a body and hides all the flaws….

8) What’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever done?

Fishing topless at a lake. WHAT??? It was hot out! I needed a tan anyway….

9) How many times have you been in love?

Is there “The One” who got away? Five. I’m a romantic, what can I say? I was actually engaged once before—I cancelled the wedding just a few months before the Big Day after EVERYTHING was already paid for and reserved. I even had my bridal gown and all the bridesmaid dresses. All the other relationships just ran their course except for one, and he broke my heart. He’s also the one who got away.

10) What is your ideal date?

Being outdoors! Anything that involves gardens, wine, good food and a lot candles. I prefer being outdoors in the evening for a romantic picnic–throw in a full moon and I am one happy girl. Oh, and chocolate. Don’t forget the chocolate!

Now you really DO know more about Menopausal Mother than you probably wanted. But let’s just keep all this between us now, shall we!

Hope you enjoyed our little collaboration.  I for one would love to have Marcia guest on my blog again sometime.

Lesbian’s Sex Tape

I have a whiteboard on the wall in my kitchen and my family knows that if they want something from the store, they need to write it on the board.  Otherwise I don’t buy it.  I have explained to them on numerous occasions that I don’t have time to inspect the cupboards before I go shopping to make a list of what we need.

Don’t just tell me you’ve run out of toothpaste or shampoo and can I buy some next time I go shopping.  I won’t remember!  Write it on the board.  Then when I go shopping, I take a pic of the board with my phone and Voila!  I have an instant shopping list.

So my 15 years old son has gotten into the habit of making notes on the board – sometimes he writes a random poem and sometimes he makes a wish list, and sometimes he tries his luck with something like the note below.  So I thought I would start putting these on my blog.

Shhhh – Don’t tell him else he’ll stop.

This is his latest message…..

Let’s Get It On

One of hubby’s favorite sayings is that children are the worlds greatest contraception. And he is so right. Hubby is always complaining he doesn’t get enough “stress relief” as he calls it. And  this is why:

(You should be listening to this whilst reading this post)

I got pregnant with Son no 1 during our first year of marriage.  We were married for 11 weeks when morning sickness kicked in and all I wanted to do was throw up or eat pancakes.  And then feeling like a waddling elephant does nothing for ones libido. I am also one of those woman who looked like I was 6 months pregnant at 6 weeks so I really did feel fat and ugly during my pregnancy.

Then there is the actual childbirth. Now I had my first son the traditional way. I was zonked on sleeping tablets when I popped and was not able to push properly.  When I checked into the hospital they told me I still had many hours to go before I was fully dilated so they gave me sleeping tablets to relax and go to sleep. So they had to give me an episiotomy when the time came. After this, there was no way hubby was coming anywhere near me for a long long time.  I could barely sit never mind think about anything going near my nether regions.

Then there is the sleepless nights and getting up at 10pm, midnight, 2am, 3am, 5am and feeling like a zombie all day.

Then your new offspring start to become real humans and become more active. This is when they want to sleep in your bed – this is usually the best time to go out and buy that king sized bed and learn to sleep on the last 12 inches of the bed – a habit I still have much to hubby’s disgust.

Then just as your offspring gets used to sleeping in their own room at around the age of 3, you then go and fall pregnant again and start the process all over again.

I did this 4 times. I never had an episiotomy again.  Caesars were the way to go for me – at least I could sit after giving birth and hubby had a chance of a quickie between nappy changes!

So this amounts to about 15 years of not having great sex. You learn very quickly to do things quietly and express your OOHS and AAHS in silence in the middle of the night.

Then finally, your child bearing years are over – YIPPEE – time to concentrate on how to feel like a women again and get your mojo back.

By this time of course you find yourself 40 pounds heavier and start finding a new grey hair on a daily basis. Your stress levels are now hovering in the clouds. After all you have kids to put through good colleges and mortgages to pay and you are in debt up to your ears.

Men and women are total opposites when it comes to stress – when men are stressed, they want stress relief in the form of sex. When women are stressed, we just want piece and quiet – preferably with a good book or blogs to read.  So when Hubby comes home and wants to “get it on“, it is the last thing on my mind.

And then Menopause sets in.

Having to deal with hot flashes, night sweats and insomnia leave me feeling very tired and irritable.  Constant mood swings make it difficult to get into sex when it’s happening.  Incontinence, weight gain, vaginal dryness all affect the way we feel.

It is not that we are dead inside – I mean if we can drool at the sight of Johnny Depp, then surely we should have some form of libido.

But somehow the brain does not communicate this to the correct parts of the body.  It is like your eyes are bigger than you stomach.

I often find myself looking at other men – especially those with prominent “penis pointers” (feel free to post a comment if you do not know what these are and I will explain them to you) and at the back of my mind I get the urge to possibly drag hubby down the passage and ravage him. But that urge just does not flip the switch all the way down.

This is when you realize that you have dinner to cook / kids to collect / homework to check / bank accounts to balance / bills to pay / animals to feed / cupboards to clean / shopping to do / emails to send / contracts to finalise / proposals to write / filing to do ……… And you put your hands up in defeat and wish you were sitting on the couch with your feet up …… And the switch just flips back up and the urge dies a sudden death.

Hubby has realised that the best time to “get any“, is to wake me up early before the brain wakes up and the “to do list” takes a footing for the day.  It is not the most exciting sex one could hope for, but at least we are making the best of it.  He tries to suggest we get the toys out or watch a video out of our secret draw.  But I know that the moment my brain wakes up, I will not be as willing.

I have been married for 25 years and I must admire the patience and understanding of my dear hubby through all these years as he certainly has not had his fair share of Getting It On!

What is a parents job

Over the years hubby and I have had some challenging decisions to make regarding the rearing of our children – just like any other parent I suppose.  The one thing we agreed upon right from the beginning was that we would always be open with our children and able to speak freely about anything and everything with our children. 

Hubby and I have never encouraged any form of censorship and have never banned our kids from doing anything. If we say no to something – there is a very clear reason why and we are happy to explain this decision to our children.  We have always encouraged them to ask why and challenge any decision and not to take anything at face value.  We grew up in a society where children were seen and never heard and I vowed I would never bring my children up like this.

We have always been very irritated when a cinema has decided to not let us in due to age restriction on certain films and have always thought that it is our decision as parents to decide whether or not a film is suitable material for our children.  They are free to recommend some form of age restriction but you cannot box all children into a specific category.  They are all very different and very unique.

I firmly believe that as parents, we have 1 job only – and that is to make sure our children are able to survive in the big wide world on their own one day.  And this means exposing them to life and helping them to understand life – the good, the bad and the ugly.  

One of the most important conversations you should have with your children is conversations about sex.  Please note that I have used the plural – “conversations”.  This should not be a single conversation that you should feel obliged to have when your child becomes a teenager – this should be an ongoing open, honest conversation with your child from the day they are born.  Obviously these conversations should be age appropriate in the language you use, but you should never shy away from talking about the subject.  

I came across a post today which reflects a lot of my own thoughts and opinions.  Please go along and have a read and let me know your thoughts ……